Little to no Energy

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

I've been struggling really hard with this for almost a year now but never really did anything about it beyond trying to get in-home care. Frequently on the days I watch my mom, I'm in pain and ache and it saps all my energy to do anything. Coupled with the days my depression and executive dysfunction are higher, this makes caregiving super challenging for me.

Mom's kinda at the spot where she needs frequent engagement or else she gets really anxious. When I'm low energy, I can barely bring myself to engage with her at the level she needs. She also cannot focus on something for very long and the constant shifting between tasks drains me further.

Anyone have any tips on how to manage caregiving on low energy days? I somehow manage to get by each time but I'd like some feedback to see if there's anything I can improve.

Ed1937

I'm not sure I can be helpful, but maybe try to focus on all the good things you currently have, or the memories of those past. And I'm not sure if you are religious, but if you are, try confiding in the Man Upstairs.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Thank you Ed. I have seen papers on the wonders of expressing and reflecting on gratitudes, so that is helpful in its own way. And yes, my spiritual health has definitely taken a huge toll along with the other aspects of my health. A caring word or two is always appreciated.

Iris L.

Are you getting enough sleep?

How about your nutrition, are you eating healthfully and not snacking? Sleeping through the night and eating better are helping me.

You have to get someone in to help you. If not to help with mom, but to do housework and chores. Make use of delivery services.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Thank you Iris. You are echoing a lot of my own thoughts. I am trying my best to get enough sleep. Lots of things going on that prevents me from getting enough but I am working on that (white noise, blackout curtains, pre-bedtime routine, etc.)... I am not eating enough, that I know, and I don't snack.

We are trying to get people in to help with the housework and some of the caregiving but they don't stay. They go through the list of things and never show up for the second day. Something about working with us puts them off I guess though others say that's not it.

I have started thinking about which delivery services would be beneficial for me as I'm starting to not be able to go out to get things because mom needs so much of my time.

GothicGremlin

It's difficult to try to get time to yourself but if you can ... my significant other does his best to get in a short meditation close to every day. It's not always possible, but I know he feels better afterward. I'm still at the "but how do you quiet your mind?" stage, so meditation hasn't yet helped me. 🙂 The thing that's always helped me is music. I make sure to listen to something once a day.

What about someone coming in once a week just to clean (to save your family from having to do it)? Maybe they'd stay on a bit longer if care giving wasn't part of the picture?

Other than that, I think Iris has some great thoughts.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Gothic! Iris always has good info, huh? :)

I would love to clear my mind but I have unmanaged Inattentive ADHD (ADD) so my mind is always active; meditation is off the table for now. Music though... I had some alone time at work yesterday and put on some music I hadn't been able to listen to in months and it was so cathartic listening to it. Incorporating music into my life again would be such a boon. I've virtually stopped playing music at home for myself because of my parents.

Oh, we kinda did have someone come in on Mondays to do light housework. I'm not sure what it is, but I tell them to focus on the light housework and they eventually gravitate towards trying to interact with mom while there. I let them try it, to see how they think about it, and then they don't show up again. Maybe I need to be more firm and say don't mind mom?

GothicGremlin

Ahh, so you play. I do too - flute is my instrument. I didn't mention it in my previous post because I didn't want my post to be too long, but .. playing has really helped me. What you might find is that because you're playing, and/or reading music as you play, it forces you to focus and to be in that moment. I have a difficult time being in the moment, but playing does help with that. Maybe it'll be of help to you too?

There are a few wise people on this forum - Iris is one of them.