Worn Out

Bananyz

My Mom is 80. One night almost 8 years ago, she seemed to have a stroke & even flatlined. She was at the hospital for 3 days with horrific hallucinations & nothing was being done until she tried “escaping” and ran into other [patient’s] room. A psychiatrist was called in & he determined she was severely depressed & suffered an emotional breakdown. With Clonazepam, she seemed to get better for about 3 weeks or so. Yet, they began treating her as a Dementia patient (without my really knowing it). Multiple psychiatrists later and one neurologist (an MRI noting a frontal lobe small [benign] tumor—and THEN Alzheimer’s was mentioned. She has been hospitalized over 17 times and has been seen by more than 6 psychiatrists and a few neurologists. Medication has been changed & dosages altered so many (many) times and NOTHING helps calm her down. She lost over 100 lbs (which is a blessing, despite her looking like just skin/bones now, since my lower back is now ruined from the lifting and carrying to bathe and care for her). She doesn’t seem to qualify for long-term care although, thank God, an HHA does come in for 3 hours. But I care for her and for my 87 yr old father (who still works) who recently had a stroke—but was released by his doc & appears to be “ok”, but not well enough to help with her. She demands attention 24 hrs a day (since she barely sleeps—has been awake for up to 3 days/4 nights often) and assistance 24 hrs as well.

Although confused always, she does recognize us and goes crazy if one of us is not around. But I am WORN OUT! Any advice is welcomed. (Pardon the extremely lengthy sharing)… ;(

towhee

Share away, that is why the forum is here. I would not be worn out, I would be comatose. I sympathize, I remember when my LO being in the hospital meant the first good night's sleep I had had in months.

Is your mother bedbound, that is, is she totally unable to transfer from bed to chair on her own and are you literally carrying her, and is your HHA part of a medicaid waiver program? I ask because I am trying to understand why she does not qualify for long term care. Since she has lost so much weight, have you tried to contact Hospice?

Ed1937

It sounds to me as though she might be a candidate for in-patient psych hospital services if there is a psych hospital anywhere near you. They are the experts when it comes to medicine. I think you need to get her back in the hospital, then refuse to take her back into your care because neither you nor your father can care for her. They might tell you that you have no choice because she is being released. Then you have to dig your heels in, and refuse to accept her back into an unsafe environment. It will be up to the hospital to find a place for her. But be prepared to keep fighting the release, telling them there is no safe place for her to go. Don't cave in to their wishes.