"Good Luck"

JudyMorrowMaloney

If there is one phrase that I have come to hate is "Good Luck". I hear this all the time from people who don't have a clue as to what it is like to care for someone with dementia on a daily basis. Nobody understands until you have actually had to deal with this on a daily basis. They don't know what it is like witnessing the deterioration of the mind of someone you love, getting up at night to take them to the bathroom or fetch the urinal because they can no longer do it themselves, putting up with someone being verbally abusive on a daily basis, and someone acting violently. But the only thing they say is "good luck".

Ed1937

I agree that you have to wear the shoes of a caregiver to truly understand. People say a lot of things that can be discomforting, but they mean well. And that's what we have to focus on. For the most part it's nothing but small talk.

mrl

I agree, and more recently it's acquired a snarky connotation. I don't like it at all. Say nothing!

ImMaggieMae

I agree with mrl. “Good luck” has taken on a snarky connotation. It’s one of the worst things I would want to hear in relation to my husband’s condition. The best? “What can I do to help?”

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M1

You have given me for thought judy, i tend to say this in my posts and certainly never meant to be snarky or offend. I think i mean it in Victoria s context. But as i said, I'll think about it now.

Gthoma

I agree it leaves a snarky impression.

I like to think it's possible the person just doesn't know what to say or how. Certainly, I've said things that didn't come out the way I intended. I totally agree "How can I help?" would be perfect. But then there's the fear you might ask me to help in a way I'm unable. One relative offered to come stay with my LO if I need a break and that was just ideal.

mrahope

Just as an alternative thought, perhaps a person might say, "I'm here to listen and I'll help when I can." I know I am deeply indebted to those who have simply paid me the courtesy of listening to my account of how things are going.

CStrope

My biggest pet peeve is the greeting "Hi how you doing". Do they really want to know. I've gotten to the point that when someone says that to me, I looks straight at them and say "tired and stressed".

CStrope

eaglemom

The phrase 'good luck' can take on many meanings. I tend to think when someone whom hasn't dealt with a person with ALZ says it, its a tongue in cheek thing. They feel they have to say something, so that's what they say. Personally I'd rather they say nothing.

I'm certain others can relate, depending upon my caregiving mood, as to how I respond. Or if I even respond. I've been known to say "please just pray for us" or "I'm doing everything I can to do my best. Luck has nothing to do with it." One response that I said before I even knew what I was saying "good luck? When you can juggle water while doing 12 other things we'll talk." (In context this person is one of those whom is an acquaintance at best. But she always knows 'best' about everything. You know the type.)

I'm certain that I've used it on the message board. I only meant I hope that situation goes well. I certainly never meant it to be a snarky. Please forgive me if I've ever offended anyone.

eagle