By Ed - Just an update on Mike

Ed1937

Mike stayed in the hospital for 11 days. They transferred him to a "group home" where he would have his needs met. After being there for 3 days, he called me to ask if I would pick him up. He said the place was full of roaches and bedbugs, as well as being full of drug users, with drugs all over the place. He said he was there for about 5 minutes before people started asking him for money and cigarettes. It sounded more like a flop house than anything. I know he's used pot for anxiety, and it helped a lot, but he stayed away from the hard drugs.

So he's been home around a week or so, and is doing well. I just hope it lasts a while. I attended a 5 hour meeting with NAMI for families of loved ones with mental illnesses, and found it very informative. I have 3 more 5 hour meetings scheduled. In another 2 weeks or so, they will have classes for people with mental illnesses, and he is considering going to them. I think they will be good for him because he opens up easily to other people about his problems.

M1

Ed i hope this works out for both of you. I am continually humbled by the things about the brain that i wish we understood better. I know you must worry about hjm all the time.

KathyF1

I assume this is your son Ed? Bless you for caring for your family, I know you were always there for your wife. You certainly are needed.

Ed1937

Thank you, Iris. I'm pretty impressed with NAMI, but I'll keep that in mind too. Thanks again.

Ed1937

Yes, Kathy. It's my son. We've been dealing with this for a loooong time, and I think it helped when my wife developed dementia. There really are a lot of the same solutions. I never really thought of dementia as a mental illness, but if you think about it.............

ImMaggieMae

Ed, I hope you can get him to go to the meetings and that they help. Too bad that place turned out to be so awful. I hope things turn around for him now.

Iris L.

Ed, I had to delete my suggestion. I read up to the fifth chapter, and it's against everything I believe in. You will do better to stick with NAMI.

Joe C.

Ed, I hope both you and your son find the support/help you need.

harshedbuzz

@Ed1937

Thanks for taking the time to update us on Mike.

I am glad that your son is doing better and that you are both accessing the considerable resources of NAMI. I hope they can help you both.

I'm sorry, but not surprised, the group home wasn't a better option for him. While I totally accept that addiction is a mental health issue and that it often rides alongside other conditions, these kind of sober, half-way and group settings sometimes put the lambs in with the foxes.

What are your thoughts on medical marijuana? Do you live in a place where that might be an option for your son?

I see your point about the similarities in mental illness and dementia. I have often thought the same of autism and dementia-- the loss of empathy, poor executive function, loss of social filter, difficulties with pragmatic language, the need for routine and sensory issues-- all things with which I was intimately familiar.

HB

Ed1937

All the replies and thoughts of good wishes are appreciated. Thanks!

Iris, thanks for the heads-up.

HB, my thoughts on medical marijuana? Bring it on! Indiana is not a state where it is legal yet. But it will happen sooner or later. Anything that makes it easier for people who desperately need it is a winner in my book. It is legal for recreational use in both Illinois and Michigan, and Illinois is only a 15 minute drive for us, while Michigan is an hour. I have allowed him to use it here, but only when he needs it. He never smokes even cigarettes in the house. And I can't stand the smell of pot.

Jo C.

Thank you for the update on Michael; I was going to ask you for an update today and here it is. I am deeply sorry for the outcome on the living situation. Lambs and foxes very apt description and it happens far too often in such settings.

There are some very good group homes out there, but they are hard to find and often full up, it takes much persistence and most often inside information to get a good fit space accommodation. I have a good friend whose SIL has significant mental health issues and this is something they have been dealing with for quite some time. They finally got a spot for her in an excellent group home; it took having a new very kind and very dedicated Social Worker who managed to pave the way with much effort.

Glad NAMI is turning out to be of good support and information. Please keep us Posted on Mike and let us know how it is going. I do keep him and you in my prayers and will continue to do so. Sometimes I think about how hard it would be to have dementia or a severe mental health condition - imagine if they are driving us to distraction, how dreadful it would be to to live inside their head with no way out of it, and not only have all that and to constantly FEEL it. How I hope some day for much better science to better treat and bring relief. As for the pot, it is good you are letting this be a help for him; even a small bit of relief is a huge thing for him I would imagine.

You have been a good husband, are a good Dad and good man altogether Ed; what a blessing to that great big wonderful family you and Carol created together.

J.