By This Life Using Respite Again

ThisLife

My H has Alzheimer's, Stage 6, and 9 years. Last September, I placed him in respite for three weeks so could do some in person work and visit with friends. Told him the morning of placement. He argued but staff got him back to his room. Umpteen phone calls a day that did taper off. I quit taking phone calls after the third day. Checked in with staff. He was eating and participating in activities. When I picked him up, he as very clear he did not need to be there and would not go back!

This time I elected to tell him the day before, break out the suitcases, and pack. Lots of verbal aggression, profanity, and attempts to argue. He emphatically stated he wasn't going to go! He did go to bed at 10:30pm. This morning we had the usual routine. Then I packed. As I finished, he came to check things out, helped with the finishing touches and loaded suitcases. On ride he asked 4 times how long it was going to be. (Not that he has any concept of date, day, season, elapsed time, etc.) Walked in. Staff member who knew him laughingly greeted him with, "Here comes trouble." He smiled and walked back to his room with her. So far, no phone calls.

Hope everyone enjoyed H--l freezing over and Pigs Flying.

Seriously, I'm not recommending this as a method. Just glad it worked.

Ed1937

Whatever works is a win for sure. Glad things are working out.

toolbeltexpert

That's a win in my book. Good job taking care of you! This ain't easy. Bad English I know.

Denise1847

I admire your strength. Good for you. I would like to do some redecorating but haven't the energy to endure the arguments and constant questioning/criticism. I have to grow a spine.

ThisLife

Thank you Ed1937 and toolbeltexpert for your kind words. Denise1847, I'm not sure if it is a spine or a really tough outer shell. But it is tough either way. I wish you the best.

sandwichone123

Denise I don't think it's a spine--it's the energy to start another job when you know that will double down your already-too-much job of caring for your loved one.

White Crane

Good for you! I'm so glad it worked out for you.

[Deleted User]

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ThisLife

Victoria2020, Thanks for the funny, funny video!