Unsure about displaying memorabilia

sherilm

My mother is suffering from ALZ and moved in with us last year. Before she got sick, she and my dad (they are divorced but friends) would camp and canoe with friends. She had a blanket my sister made her with pictures from many of those moments, as well as a framed "Certificate of Courage" with a photo of her in her canoe on a river. She has found both of these in her room and brought them downstairs to display. Throughout the day, she frequently walks up to these items, stands and looks at them while muttering under her breath and continuously touches/rearranges them. As I'm working in my home office, I hear the tapping of the picture frame against the wall or the creaking of the couch as she adjusts the blanket.

I'm not sure if having these items out is a good thing or a bad thing for her. I almost feel as if they may be causing more anxiety and depression than good memories and emotions - as if she's struggling to remember the moments around them. But I also feel bad hiding them away. At first she seemed excited to talk about them but now she seems more secretive. She gets very fixated on them but walks away if someone notices her with them. I try to listen but I cannot tell what she's saying as she talks to herself when looking at these items.

Should I leave the items where they are? Should I put them away?

Thank you for your thoughts.

Shan

Are you able to get her engaged in a conversation about any specific item to asses if it is comforting or triggering for her to look at? I don’t know how communicative your mom still is or if she has the ability to talk to you and answer easy questions. But if she can, maybe go up to her when she’s engaging with an item and ask things like “do you like that picture?” “How does this picture make you feel” or “what are you thinking now?” Try to gauge her reaction to the item to see if it is a calming influence or if it causes her confusion and anxiety. It could help you decide which items can stay and which are best to disappear.