Surfacing

Buggsroo

Hi to all my old friends, and hello to new ones.

My husband is on crisis placement. The social workers and the hospital feel that a long term care home is the only option right now. I too, feel the same. I get a psw who comes in to help me with for 14 hours a week. My psw is lovely and really tries to engage with my husband. He doesn’t like to bathe, pees on the floor and still likes to put poo in the sink. I have cleaned the floors so many times, the paint is starting to peel.

My husband fell last week and was taken to the hospital. He was kept for two days. Oh my god sheer bliss. I got to sleep in, got to lounge on the couch and read the paper and drink my Nespresso in peace. It was a lovely taste of freedom.

I had to field all kinds of calls from doctors and it was interesting to go through the dementia timeline. I realized that my husband has had it for about 4 years, starting off with obsessing about our cats to engaging in arguments that made no sense. The doctors also felt that his dementia is temporal frontal lobe dementia with Alzheimer’s.

My mom is going home from the hospital, and we are getting her set up with walkers and home help. Her cat is leaving my place so my two cats will be relieved. It’s been a real ride and have just been putting one foot in front of the other.

Sorry I haven’t posted lately, but I have been reading the posts and lurking. I will try and post more regularly.

M1

Glad to hear from you to hear the update. what does their crisis timeline look like? Glad your mom is improving.

toolbeltexpert

Buggsroo 2 days must have been such a relief from all that caregiving has brought to you. Never heard of nespresso?

I look for your posts and continue my prayers for you. Glad to hear of your progress.

Jo C.

Hello Dear Buggs; I am glad to hear your mother is settled. And you got two whole days to breathe and just "be." A preview of things to come.

So hope the crisis placement comes sooner than soon. The level of care sounds right for what you have shared with us. Tincture of time and then you can become the loving wife who visits and not the beleaguered, exhausted caregiver with no internal resources left.

Please do keep us posted; I was about to write a Thread to you to ask how you were and here you are - I must have conjured you up!

Did the powers that be inform you how long they feel it will take to get an available bed for him? Seems Canada could use more long term care bed availability; but "down here," we have issues too and one of them is the payment process - not at all good for most people. If one goes on the Medicaid Long Term Care program, one has to be pretty much financially decimated and get through a rigorous application process. If not able to qualify for Medicaid, one has to pay privately for care and it is SO expensive. The at-home spouse often wipes out most or all of the savings that would be needed for their own future needs; it is a sad process. Our Medicaid beds are pretty much not at the "nicest" facilities which are most often private pay only.

Will wait to hear that you finally have success and are ready to go . . . hope it is soonest.

J.

Ed1937

Buggs, I'm glad to hear that placement might be in the near future instead of the long wait you have been going through. When he is placed, it will be different for you, and you'll probably wonder how you handled it for so long. But it will be a blessing.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Dio

Bugs, I don't know how you could have survived this long...poop in the kitchen sink?? My dear god! You have braved this road for far too long. Hope placement happens soon! And you can get your own life back and live.

Joydean

So glad to hear from you Buggsroo! Two whole days by yourself!! Getting to sleep in and just breathe, sounds like a strange world! Sorry your husband was in the hospital, but very happy you got a short break. Hoping your mom is much better. Getting some help coming in hopefully will also make things a little easier for you!