Took my mom but the new digs

ghphotog

Caring for my wife with advanced Alzheimer's and my mom with moderate dementia. Took my mom by the very nice MC and she hates me. Stopped to get something to drink but she won't sit with us. She is trying to escape.

M1

maybe better to stay away for a bit. Common with initial placement. Hope the staff communicate well. Keep us posted.

Quilting brings calm

If I understand your post, you took your mom for a tour of an MC, then stopped by a casual restaurant afterwards - where you mom moved to her own table.

You aren’t going to get her support. She’s not going to be happy- but she will be safe in an MC.

most people go behind their loved ones back, and work with the MC without their knowledge to get them accepted. Then they tell their loved one only on move in day and they make up a fiblet about it being temporary due to something like home repair, However you now have a big problem. If she remembers what the MC looks like, she’s going to fight getting her out of the car and into the building on move in day.

I really don’t have any advice for you

ghphotog

That is correct. I know I can "fiblet" and drop that on her when I move her in but she cognizant enough that I can't lie to her. I just can't take care of her and my wife any longer. She can't live independently nor on the independent side of AL but she still knows what's going on.

Don't have any real choices. The last AL location won't take her back because they said she needs to be in MC. Have no idea if I'm really doing the right thing but she is an extreme trigger for my wife and I don't have any other options to speak of.

M1

You're doing the right thing, for sure. I know it's hard though. I hope time will help.

ghphotog

Update: My mom has been in the MC for several days now. She absolutely hates it, has no idea why she is there. Won't eat the food. The manager seems unkind or just not friendly but the rest of the staff seem ok. They accept Medicaid there's that. My mom is very depressed and cries a lot so I would say this hasn't gone well but nothing I can do. It's heartbreaking to see my mom hating this part of life.

M1

I'm so so sorry, I know how distressing this is for you. I can only hope that time may help, and I find mercy in the fact that my partner has no sense of time. It makes it a bit easier to bear.

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