Assisted Living

Jill Florence

I am POA for my friend. She has at home care 9 to 5. I see her confusion getting worse each time I see her, once a week and I worry about the hours she is left alone. Assisted living would be more cost effective and better for her but she is resistant to the idea. WE attended a brunch and my friend was suspicious at first asking , in tears, "why are we going?" It turned out to be a pleasant visit.

The assisted living place seems to be pushing , saying it is time to make the move while there are happy memories. I think it is time to move but I don't know where to start....to find the right words. How do you convince someone it is the right thing to do? Any suggestions?

M1

Hi Jill. In all likelihood, you don't try to convince, you just do it. If you have POA, you have the obligation to act on her behalf. If you are worried about it, almost certainly should she not be left alone, and the time is in fact here. Most of us who have done this do not tell our LO's ahead to time and just arrange the move. You can try fiblets--saying it's for house repairs, or rehab, or a place to stay while you are having surgery and won't be available--anything, but those fibs are for the day of the move, not before, and you don't say it's because you have dementia and you can't be left alone any more. I hope it goes well for you.

Jill Florence

Thank you. So helpful.

Joe C.

Hi Jill, I agree with M1 comments but wanted to add a few more things to consider. Does the Assisted Living facility have a Memory Care Unit? If your friend has dementia at some point she is going to need more care than an Assisted Living community typically provides. If that change comes down the road then it will be much easier on everyone if that more is within the same facility. Also, once placed the facility will have the say on when the move to memory care is required.

Jill Florence

Great information. Thank you

toolbeltexpert

Jill I just want to echo M1 and Joe c, it wouldn't be helpful to work out any details it's a just do it. You must be a close friend to be the poa for your friend, its hard role when it comes to dementia. Finding a place that your friend can age in place and you don't mention any financial stuff but if the funding is gonna be an issue a place that will take Medicaid also needs to be something that can factor in. You'll find find lots of great advice from a large range of folks who have gone down this road. Keep posting.