How do I navigate supporting my mom?

orue02

My mom has had dementia since 2022, and probably before then too. She used to live by herself until a week ago where I found a low income senior apartment for her. We’re still waiting on approval for the apartment, so in the meantime she’s staying with me, my partner, and my partners brother and his girlfriend.

The last two months since I’ve taken care of my mom at her house and the last week since we’ve been at my house, has been extremely stressful. My mom has severe depth perception problems; when walking through a door, when dressing, eating, looking into a mirror, and sometimes when trying to figure out where to sit. Whenever she says “ok, where do I go?” And I’ll say “turn left” she turns right, or when I say “turn right” she turns left. Often times, she can’t distinguish left and right. I bought her a cane so she can feel around her, but she forgets to bring it with her on outings. She gets confused when I tell her certain things or she forgets. She takes medication for it, but she complains of constipation, which deters her from taking it. It’s the small things that upset me and I don’t say anything in the moment. I just take a deep breath and she notices it and either mocks me or feels like a burden.

How do I deal with the small things? I would like to go back to school and focus on my life too.

artandcoffee

Wow I’d like to know the same thing . How to deal with a hundred small things all day long . I’m exhausted plus have a full time job .
I’d like to find in home help but it’s so very expensive . Are there any day cares in Hemet ca does anyone know ? Is anyone else dealing with the sun downing !!! Following me all over everywhere! And the delusions so much worse around 4:00

towhee

The vision problems can be really hard. Does she have tunnel vision as well as depth perceptions issues?

Usually a good stress reliever is taking 3 deep breaths, but as your mom seems to be very aware of sound, I am so sorry that does not work for you. You could try saying a phrase to yourself that reminds you of something pleasant, or picture something soothing. While it is good to have something to relax you in that moment of stress, it also helps if you do some relaxation at other times, the benefit will carry over. Practice is important. So try to get 5 minutes at least a couple of times a day where you can take a couple of deep breaths, drink a cup of hot tea/coffee, look at the sunset/pretty day and try to attach that feeling to an image or phrase that you can remember in a time of stress.

I hope that apartment will work out soon.

Quilting brings calm

Can you please elaborate on the senior apartment? What support is there behind it? Is it in an over 55 complex, an independent living facility , assisted or supporting living facility etc. If you currently feel she’s not able to live alone, she needs to be in an apartment in an assisted or supportive living environment. Eventually she will need memory care.