Parent with dementia participating in memorial

edenwillow

My father has dementia. My mother passed away in January, and we are now planning her memorial for June. I have not involved my father in the planning because I think the complexity would be too much for him, but he has told me that he would like to speak. I'm not at all worried about what he would say - he speaks very movingly about missing her and how much he loved her. But I am concerned that we won't be able to gracefully get him to stop talking, and I don't want to make people uncomfortable if he goes on way too long. I'd appreciate any suggestions people have if you have faced a similar challenge.

M1

Maybe someone could go up with him, who could act as a cue about when to stop? Or if he can still read, could you write out remarks for him ahead of time? Tricky business. Another thought would be to videotape him ahead to time so that you could play the video (and edit it, if needed). You could do that and tell him it's to keep him from getting too emotional by doing it live. You might have to video everyone's remarks to get him to go along with it, but that is a possibility...