My sister stopped moms med without consulting me

Jolynn05

My mother has been on Seroquel (12.5mg) given late afternoon since March and also an antidepressant Mirtazapine (7.5mg). They say she is late stage 6 dementia. She is sleeping all night now and her speech and general mood is much better. Well, I and my older sister are joint POAs but I have the medical POA. Last Thursday while I was out of town for my daughters wedding my sister demanded the nurse at the SNF take my mom off of the Seroquel without even speaking to me about it. She researched it on Google and She told the nurse she couldn’t live with herself if my mom stayed on it even though the nurse, doctor and my moms psychiatric nurse advised against stopping it. They also have seen a huge improvement in moms quality of life. By Monday when I got back and saw mom she was a total mess. Exhausted from no sleep again and barely saying anything that made sense. I went today and spoke to both nurses and they strongly advised to reissuing the med. Again, it’s a very low dose to help her sleep at night. I know my sister will probably wage all out war against me but the psychiatric nurse said I was making the right choice for mom and to have my sister call her. I’ve tried getting along with my sister but at every turn she undermines me and doesn’t really care about my thoughts upon moms care. I know I made the right decision but has anyone had a similar experience or what are thoughts on Seroquel.

M1

given that this has happened, I would have the nurses make a note on all charts that no medication changes should be made without clearing it with you (the medical POA). That should go without saying, but make it explicit. Yes, it's a very low dose, and sleep fragmentation is a good reason for using it.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Jolynn05

M1 I did do that yesterday. Victoria2020 it seemed as though they didn’t realize I was the actual medical POA even though it was in my moms file. The psychiatric nurse was very sympathetic to me and realized my sister wasn’t acting in my moms best interest. They corrected all that yesterday and changed me to be the one to call. Financially she just has taken over that as much as possible but still needs my signature for everything and has threatened not to sign if she doesn’t agree. Like moving my mom to a very nice memory care setting instead of a nursing home where there are only 14 patients and she’d have 2 aides to care for her.

It’s just has turned into such a a mess and didn’t have to be this way. I’ve tried for a couple years to get along with her - even forgiving hurtful things she’s done to me, but this crossed the line for me and showed her true colors. Thank you both for the input.

Quilting brings calm

This is why having one person be medical and another be financial is a bad idea. I have medical for both parents and financial for mom. Dad won’t give me financial as he is paranoid. I do believe that the financial standard form has a brief reference to medical things, so maybe your sister’s does . Or maybe the facility just assumed that if she had one POA, she also had the other kind.