Care Giver Needs Advice

Guatedad

I am the sole care giver for my mom who lives with me. I leave her food every day to eat while I am at work. Recently she began accusing me of not leaving her food because she can't remember that I did. She becomes very angry and says I am calling her a liar. I know this is typical, but has anyone had any success dealing with this. I don't really know what to do.

Thanks

terei

When you get home + she says this, say, ‘oh, mom, I’m sorry! I was in such a rush this morning? Can I get you a snack?’

loveskitties

Are you sure that your mother should be left alone while you are at work?

Would she attempt to cook a meal if she thought you didn't leave her food...use the stove or other dangerous appliance?

It may be time to look at some type of extra care hands for when you are not available.

Iris L.

Ditto loveskitties. You have to start observing your mom carefully to see what else she is failing to do. Look into adult day care. Also, learn about anosognosia. Don't argue when she makes accusations, because in her mind, there really is no food in the house.

harshedbuzz

Guatedad-

If your mom's diseased has progressed to the point that she either can't recall a plated meal is left for her lunch or ate it and can't recall having done so, she is probably not safe home alone while you are working.

She may be at a point where a HHA could manage lunch and check on her for a couple hours. Or perhaps she'd do well at a day program for those with dementia. Sometimes one of these steps can bridge for a time before 24/7 care in-home or in a MCF is needed.

HB

Maureen D

I call home during the day to "remind" that sandwich is in refrig. Also I leave snacks on counter or on table next to tv

Iris L.

As soon as the phone call is over, she can have forgotten, just that quickly! She may not recognize snacks on the counter or next to the TV. Their brains don't work right anymore (agnosia). She needs personal attention, one-on-one. You seem resistant to having a caregiver come in or adult day care. Iris

mommyandme (m&m)

get some cameras in, they’ll help you supervise what’s truly happening while you’re at work. Also sounds like she may need some support during the day, even for just a few hours to start. It’s difficult when we must adjust to our LOs new reality. Sorry for your struggles.