Tools I use to help me cope

Just Bill

We cannot have too many coping tools and here is what has been working for me: 1) Exercise, 2) Breathing exercises, 3) Meditation, 4) Studying philosophy specifically Stoicism. Look up Marcus Aurelius quotes from meditations really resonate with what I am going through. I'm curious what other peoples coping tools are.

Caro_Lynne

Pinot Noir. Prior to becoming primary caregiver to my ex, I played tennis 4-5 days a week, walked 2-3 miles minimum per day and was, generally, healthy and fit. I haven't been able to do that for a year now and am now a rounder shape 😭. He cannot be left alone and due his doggie (which he adores) being a biter, cannot get someone to help me.

I recently purchased workout equipment; stationary bike, treadmill and some kind of squat machine; so I am determined to switch out the Pinot Noir for exercise. Wish me luck! I know it will also help me mentally; it's been a difficult transition. JustBill I will also look into studying philosophy as I love to read.

jfkoc

Thinking about a slug of Sapphire, screaming, watching Netflix or Prime. Anything philosophical seems to bring me down.

Dio

I totally failed at coping. Placement of DH is my salvation, for now.

Ed1937

Music and/or labor intensive work.

toolbeltexpert

Busyness like Ed physically demanding work. I dug the ditch to for my garage electric line 65 ft long up to 30" deep. Like you Bill when I sense stress deep breathing helps,but you take it to a whole different level, prayer every day early for an hour.

I have started taking time to go to state parks again and eating out occasionally. I find it can really calm my spirit when I walk alone in the woods. Something I could do anytime at my old home.

Planning strategies for my next move, helps me see there is more than one option at all times. I haven't had tv for months and I don't listen to as much music as I used to though I really love many genres. Another biggie is telling my story,I find sharing about the big d dilemma opens up a lot of folks to tell their stories of who and how they dealt with dementia. I was shocked to find out how many cna's have their own stories of personal care for a family lo. Some have had the striking sacrifices of true caregiving. This forum is a coping mechanism as well.

Bill they touched on stoicism when I went to seminary, I have given away most of my books from that though, I may still have a few left? In a box somewhere? I will be minimizing to live in a tiny home, I have only just begun that process believe it or not I find the thought of not owning so much stuff to be stress relieving, once it's done there's no stress about how to deal with the stuff.

Great topic Bill

Sandy1956

1. Daily morning meditation
2. Breathing exercises
3. Spending time with our 10-month-old granddaughter
4. Journaling
5. Music
6. Hugging / snuggles with our chocolate Lab

Jeff86

Work, tennis, gardening, doing pet therapy with my dog, reading novels (escaping into other worlds)

Jeff86

Unbreak4ble

I agree with Sandy, I like to write. Limericks, short stories, movie script ideas, stand up comedy observations, insights that nobody cares about... anything that makes me think.

Fantasize about how I could make the lives of people I don’t like hell if I had the independence and mobility.

I can’t get on my computer, phone or read. That’s when she opens the refrigerator door or floods the bathroom. I used to do a lot of Photoshop.

Up until recently she would let me take pictures. Now she gets anxious everywhere we go.

Earbuds and Netflix after she’s asleep. Music if she’s awake.

Pacing with her.

Can’t figure out how to exercise. Hard to get motivated to walk in small circles or do sit-ups or pushups.

Unbreak4ble

Oh, and I forgot this: it’s a YouTube video about brain chemistry. Especially dopamine.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GE1w8OORirA&pp=ygUUV2h5IGxlYWRlcnMgZWF0IGxhc3Q%3D

One of the most important talks about human behavior I’ve ever seen.

I see everything everybody does through the lens of ‘why did they do that?’ It helps me cope.

tgeno

My psychologist turned me on to Tara Brach (www.tarabrach.com) who is another clinical psychologist and Buddhist meditation teacher. She taught me Tara Brach's R.A.I.N. methodology for dealing with my emotions. I now listen to Tara Brach's podcasts while I walk and I have read all her books, especially "Radical Compassion".

Lgw

Cleaning another closet, throwing stuff away, packing for a happier time. Will there be one of those? Tomorrow if he is still alive I will start walking again.

Battlebuddy

I’ve gone back to doing artwork. It’s helped a lot. I can design things in my head. Working on house projects . Just shiplapped my tv wall. Praying is a biggie . I’ve also started reading Historical fiction. I’ve read 11 books this year . It’s really fun to go to some other time period and escape. Just finished” A gentleman in Moscow”” which is about Moscow after the revolution. Walking out in nature.

ImMaggieMae

Battlebuddy, have you read The Scribe of Sienna?

Battlebuddy

No is it good?

RCT

I practice Tai Chi daily and walk as many mornings as possible

I ,too, study Stoicism

I practice mindfulness

I pray

I laugh

I remain grateful

CStrope

Puzzles of every sort, anything to keep my mind active. Jigsaw, crossword, Sudoku, Wordle.....you name it, I do it!

Ronk246

I agree with Battlebuddy, historical fiction is my favorite escape, I loved "Here Be Dragons" by Sharon Kay Penman, the first in a series about English history beginning around 1100AD, based on actual correspondence between the principals. Another good author is Bernard Cornwell, he wrote a series about how England was consolidated into a single country.

GothicGremlin

I have a few ... if one doesn't work, usually one of the others will.

1. Gym - boxing and kickboxing are the best.
2. I have a therapist I see once a month (she used to be a social worker working with Alzheimer's patients and caregivers. She's worth her weight in gold.
3. Music - I listen to something every day - usually something goth/industrial.
4. I used to read a lot, but I don't often have time for it anymore (sadly). Still, recently I managed to read The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin. It's fantasy - turning the racism of H.P. Lovecraft on its head. And the sequel, The World We Make. Definitely good reads.

Quilting brings calm

Reading

piecing quilt tops

tv

sudoku