Advice for caring for spouse

Barbara1000

My DH has been having memory problems for several years. I am his caretaker. He is 93 and has some physical problems. I am soon to be 90 with some health problems of my own. I must use a walker to get around and no longer able to drive. He is reluctant to discuss his problems with anyone else. We have most of our needs delivered as to food and other purchases. He sometimes forgets the locations of our market, doctors offices, making it stressful to see him drive off to handle things I cannot. I would be so happy if someone could offer suggestions how to deal with these problems. We would be financially able to add support members on a regular basis. I am in constant stress about my poor husband, and at the same time concerned about what I could do without him. Our only relatives live far away and friends from the past have pre-deceased us. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

M1

Hi barbara, welcome to the forum. My heart goes out to you, at 90 i wish there were someone to care for both of you, so that you could just enjoy the time you have. Is there possibly an assisted living facility near you where you could move so that you have more help? If finances allow, it would be a wise move.

Ed1937

Hi Barbara. I'm glad you found us. Welcome. You will get a lot of support and understanding here, but to get the most out of the forum, you should be actively posting.

I might be wrong, but it sounds as if he is still driving. If this is true, and he has dementia, you could be financially wiped out if he were to have an accident, and someone was injured or killed. You would be held responsible as well as your husband if you allowed him to drive. I really hate to give you that news, but it's something you really need to know.

If you can afford it, I think it would be a good idea to get some hired help at the very least to run errands for you. Because he at times does not know the location of places, AND dementia, that makes a lot of sense. You might also check out possible solutions for other things with your local senior center.

frankay

Our county has a very active agency to offer advice and help for older folks and they're very good at seeing that you get hooked up with services that you need. See if something like that is available in your area. Ed is right. To get help we need to ask for it. Sometimes that is hard but everyone here is so kind and helpful. I have learned so much. Please get on the phone and start calling around. You do need help.