Oh so new !

Meganhpass

So 2018 my mom was diagnosed with Late stage Alz. He husband (stepfather) of 40 years. Started stealing money from my mom. I caught him red handed. With that he took them both to Florida were they have been snow-birds for 20plus years. They left at the start of COVID. He discounted phones, we lost all communications with our mom. He told her we don't care. Attorney had to get involved, they had to move into an ALF in Florida, due to his health. He died at the start of the year. I have lost 4 yrs with my mom. We have just brought her home to an ALF 10 mins from our home. I am told it will take 60-90 days for her to settle in. She calls us and and ask why are we doing this to her, what has she done wrong, she thinks nothing is wrong with her. She was perfectly, can dress herself, needs new cloths put out daily, she can shower with someone telling her what to do. She is in pull ups. She needs assist with picking foods to eat. Her mind is in left field. She keeps calling the other residents "nut jobs" and they have "missed a marble" out loud! I am trying to learn the ALF and take over as guardian, and figure out just where she is health wise. And have her call me multiple times a day to say I never visit and that all she does is sit in this chair 18 hrs each day. No one comes to see me, no one calls me, no one takes me any place. She has been home for three wks, I have seen her everyday, go to actives with her at the ALF. She comes to my house and hangs out with me for hours, We drive around all her old stomping grounds.

So I guess my question is about the diagnosed of Late Stage Alz, I thought that meant someone was bed ridden and could not eat. The doctor that came to see her at the ALF does not want to change any meds now, I get that. She is very healthy. High blood pressure that's all and my Step dad had her put on some memory meds in Florida I do hope to have her come off at some point. I do plan to go to some support groups in my area. Still just learning who my mom is after so many years apart.

thanks to whomever reads this,

M1

Welcome to the forum Megan. Sounds like quite the saga and not uncommon. Have you had a frank discussion with the administrators about what level of care she needs? From your description I'm wondering if she needs a memory care unit not assisted living. And if you're not familiar with the term it sounds like she has anosognosia, inability to appreciate her deficits.

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Meganhpass

Victoria, I will get this book thank you. You are right about it all. I should have her stay put and start to build a routine. Guilt kills me when she ask to come to my house or take a drive past this and that. She hates the ALF then in the next 5 minutes its not so bad, if this is what it has to be she says. My take on the memory med she is on it that it is for early stage DM and Memory issues. It is wonderful to have her home and know that I can be with her in minutes. I look forward to getting the book and reading more on this site to learn and educated myself.

Thank you so much for reaching out.

Megan

mommyandme (m&m)

I’m glad you are close to your mom now. I’m curious about “late stage”. Sounds like she’s more moderate stage, late stage 5? She can use a phone. I’m not a doctor so take that for what it’s worth. MC may be a good route to go or at least I hope this facility has the option to move to that when needed.

Here’s a link for 3 different scales that are sometimes used to stage our LOs.

https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/aboutdementia/facts/stages/