This is MY home

sherilm

My mother was diagnosed with ALZ in 2018. She came to live with me in IN at the end of last year. Prior to that, she had lived with my sister in NJ for 15+ years. She owned her own home briefly before that and we lived with her parents when I was young. She is often mumbling/whispering but I cannot tell what she is saying. Lately, she has become more restless and the whispering has gotten much louder. I was finally able to hear part of what she was saying - "This is my home". Repeated over and over again. Yesterday, when my husband and daughter left the house and it was just me and mom, she came up to me and said "This is my house" and started to say something about my husband but her sentence didn't come out right. I was fixing dinner at the time so I calmly told her it was all of ours and was able to redirect her.

Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this? Right now she is keeping it under her breath and addressing it only with me - although a couple times has had angry outbursts. But I have two young children (10 and 15) and a husband who I am trying to protect from being affected by this behavior. Plus, I don't want her to feel a paranoia or anxiety that we are trying to take her house away from her. I just recently had her anxiety/anti-depressant medication increased which had helped with the restlessness and anxiety but then this behavior seemed to increase.

Thank you for your thoughts and ideas!

harshedbuzz

I'm a little confused. I am reading that 1) this is your home into which she moved, 2) she believes the house to be hers. As in most situations, it's best to join a PWD in their reality because they don't have the bandwidth to follow or recall your explanation. I don't see where you need to deal with this aside from agreeing with her. Certainly, your husband and children should be able to understand that mom's reality is the result of a diseased brain and be able to extend her grace around this.

That said, if the behavior is new, it could be the result of a medication change. Is she taking an SSRI? At higher doses sometimes they can be activating in some people. She might new a different class of medication and a return to the lower dose. I suggest a geriatric psychiatrist if you can find one.

HB

Emily 123

Do you feel like it may be that she's trying to make sense of a place she doesn't recognize? That she's affirming 'where' she is to herself? My mother does that sometimes too. Or this could be  perseveration and your mom's stuck in a bit of a feedback loop and can't get herself unstuck. I think you handled it well. Something I saw suggested using music or a task to help jog them out of being stuck in a speech/thought/action pattern.