sleeps all day and drinks wine all night

mike 1

My wife was diagnosed with early on set dementia about 6 months ago. She is 74 and I have seen this coming for years ,I think?? Have many questions, but for now am concerned about her increased drinking every nite. Also she sleeps or stays in bed all day. Until approximately 5 pm. Any experience or suggestions.

mrahope

Gosh, I wonder if your wife always had problems with sleep and alcohol use. If these problems are new, is it possible she is depressed? If so, there are medications which may help and I would ask about them. Just my .02, and I'm sure others more experienced than me will chime in.

mike 1

She says depression is not an issue, I agree with you it could be. she's not real open to discussing. Also she is in denial about drinking being a issue ,says she only has a glass or two with dinner. I could show her proof that's not true but others say if it is the dementia talking ,not to try and prove her wrong.

Denise1847

Mike, If she is in denial about the drinking, I suspect she is in denial about depression. Or... maybe she is having a hangover from the alcohol and deals with it by staying in bed. It is bad enough being the caregiver (which could drive one to drink) but being the person with the disease (if one is aware of it) must be unbearable. I suspect she is coping with the disease by retreating. Can you get her out of the house for lunch or get her to take walks to try to re-engage her?

mike 1

I think you my be right. As a caregiver I've been trying pace my self, because I know more is coming as things progress. I like your suggestion try get her more engaged. Thanks for the input.

M1

Even one glass of wine a night is a risk factor for dementia in women. Have you talked to her docs about this? Hard as it is you may have to confront this demon. Unless you can fake it with a substitute. Alcohol disturbs normal sleep patterns too. Tough issue and im sorry you're having to deal with it.

PookieBlue

Hi Mike, My DHs side of the family has always consumed alcohol. My 77 y/o husband and his 82 y/o sister both have dementia. I’m pretty sure his and her dementia are both genetically and alcohol linked. He goes to bed early, sleeps in, and takes multiple long naps during the day. Before I retired five years ago, I think he stayed in his PJs til afternoon. Now he gets dressed every morning.

   He would never admit his alcohol use as excessive, and even though the number of empty beer cans and wine bottles quantifies his use, he denies it. I no longer bring up two topics, his alcohol use and the selling of his sports cars and other vehicles that haven’t been driven in years. These conversations never end well. He starts drinking about 5 pm and within two to three hours he has had a couple of beers and a full bottle plus a partial of wine. Sometimes, he can barely walk to the bedroom. I have to compartmentalize everything anymore, and that’s how I survive. I would be concerned about alcohol withdrawal and DTs if he couldn’t get it.

   Funny thing though, I rented a cabin for the week and all week long he hasn’t finished a full bottle per night and not much beer. 

mike 1

Thanks for your comments. I'm new to this and boy it hard to know what's right, isn't it. I'm sorry you are going thru this , but its oddly nice to know in not alone. M1 I haven't quite worked out how to speak to her Dr. alone. I can now see I need to be more proactive in helping her. We have known each other since we were babies and have been married over 50 yrs. It's hard to accept she needs help when she was so independent her whole life. I'm trying to adjust. Thanks again for you comments.

Ed1937

Mike, write a note for the doctor to read before he sees her. Give it to the person at the desk, and ask them to make sure the doc reads it before the appointment. Or if you can get on the patient portal, you might be able to send the doc a note there. Either way, she doesn't need to know of the note.

mike 1

thanks good idea.

LJCHR

Does your wife still drive? If not, is it possible that you can control her buying the alcohol? My DH hasn't driven in about a year and I am his sole transport. He also wanted to have scotch every evening even though his neurologist told him "no scotch". I took his bottle of scotch and he has not missed it and he can't replace it without me taking him to buy it. He is allowed 1 beer if he wants alcohol. This is working for him.

It can be a problem and added burden to the caregiver, as if there's already not enough to deal with. Hoping you can work this out. My heart goes out to you having dealt with this.