Internet Access

Cari D

My mother is in Level 3 middle stage dementia. Long before her diagnosis, she had spending/hoarding issues... why purchase one of something, when you can buy a case (then forget and purchase another case)?. She claimed she was being a prepper, but her memory loss was often the reason for recurring purchases.

After diagnosis, we have taken over the purchases/payments for her. We have eliminated the need for her to use cash/cards, and she only carries a small wallet for her anxiety. We have She often demonstrates insight to understand why we have done this, until it comes to the internet.

She longs for internet access, and I do not know a way to connect her without the risks of her purchases, subscriptions, reactions to scam emailings, access to her bank accounts (even just viewing the statements will increase her anxieties). Is there a way to allow her to use the internet for updating her games, and managed access for information without causing more harm/stress from access to her email, websites and e-commerce?

harshedbuzz

This is going to sound harsh.

Let her long. She's not safe on the internet.

I suppose you could sit with her and oversee her use of the internet to update games or watch cat videos and then shut the Wi-Fi down. But that'll serve as a trigger for what you've taken away. I'd find her games she can play without the internet. I'd also consider forwarding mail to a PO Box to avoid charity and scam mailings, too.

My dad lost $350K day-trading in the earlier stages of the disease before he was even diagnosed. There is no do-over for that; the money informed our options for care in the later stages of the disease.

HB

MN Chickadee

I would agree, it is better to have her longing for internet access than the risk that would come from getting her set up. So many ways for trouble with normal internet. She will eventually forget how to use a computer or phone.

You might consider something like the Grand Pad in the interim. It's an easy to use tablet that is a monthly subscription for the internet part so no other wifi needed, and it's pretty locked down in terms of trouble a person can find. It's for games, listening to music and for family to connect through calls, video chat and sending photos but not browse the internet or do anything with banking etc. Very few apps but plenty of games. A family member would be the admin with a password needed to make changes and you can customize it before she gets ahold of it. It's designed for only people the caregiver adds to the "family network" to be able to call or email, so no spam or telemarketers etc. But I would abandon the idea of her using a normal device with internet access. It's so fraught with risks you don't even want to imagine.