Kidney Failure stage 5/Dementia

shern

Hi my mom is 95 years old. She had stage 4 kidney disease since 2018 which have been stable up to this point. She now has stage 5 since July 2022. At this point of her life she's declining. She can hardly walk, her right shoulder is painful because it's bone against bone, on the right side all the way down her hand is swollen, her calved to her feet are swollen, she's getting very weak, have a tendency to be exhausted walking four steps to a bathroom and different bones are starting to hurt her. I've been told it's the toxins from the kidneys that are not being filtered because of the disease of kidney failure. Her short-term memory is very off. She tells relatives stories that are not true that has to do with the nurse that comes to see her since she is on hospice, myself and my son. Unfortunately the relatives don't call us to find out what's going but they take her word or they appease her not sure which one it is. To hear her talk is so hurtful and it just drains me and my son emotionally. She believes the social worker came in and gave her a headlock and this is why her shoulder hurts, which is totally untrue, I am there all the time. We do have a camera in her room in case anything happens and she is in her home and will not leave it for nothing. I'm asking how to handle this talk she has going on with relatives that don't understand they may have a page but we have the book.

She just mentioned to my son in conversation not 2 days ago that she doesn't think she's going to be here much longer. That statement was very hurting to me even though I know what's going to happen in the end but I just wondered do they know before you do. I think I just needed to vent and look for a few answers if anybody could help me get my emotions in check about her conversations that are negative between me and my son and the nurse it would be very helpful.

Thank you,

Marta

Have you decided for or against dialysis? If against, your Mom is correct that she likely will not be here much longer, if she really is in stage 5 kidney disease. You cannot take anything she says personally. Her brain is being poisoned by the toxins that the kidneys are no longer eliminating. You mention dementia- was that present before the kidneys reached stage five, or did the dementia start due to the kidney failure?

shern

The dementia started due to the kidney failure. We had the blood work done after the Nurologist appointment and it all start making sense. The doctor prescribed predisone for the inflammation in her shoulder, but she on them for 7 days only. Not sure what is going to happen from here. She also has the shaking leg syndrome that keeps her up. I just hate to see her in pain and she does not want anything stronger. Thank you for responding to me

harshedbuzz

I am sorry. End stage kidney disease can be a challenging end for all involved.

Have you brought in hospice yet? They may be able to keep her more comfortable than she is now.

HB

Marta

Yes. If the decision is “no dialysis” hospice would be very helpful for her symptoms.

shern

Yes she has been in Hospice since September 2022. This has been a long process for my mother.