My husband bit me

Buggsroo

I now get a psw once a day to bathe and change my husband. It takes two to do this. I hold his hands while the psw does the washing. It often degenerates into a weird game of twister while I grab his hands and use my legs to retrain him. Today he grabbed the psw’s shirt and exposed her breasts. She just laughed it off, while I lost my concentration, he was able to sink his teeth in my finger. It hurt, he broke the flesh. I went and washed it with soap and water and put some antibiotic ointment on it.

I showed him the wound and he just shrugged his shoulders. I mentally told myself we’re not in Kansas anymore. I have to admit, I tire of this a lot faster now. Today while he napped, so did I. I guess it just comes down to living in the moment. I am so grateful for the psw care I get.

Erica

I'm new to the support community. What's a psw?

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Vitruvius

PSW = Personal support worker, who usually assist with dressing, bathing, feeding of PWD (People with Dementia). My understanding is it is normally non medical support, at least that's what they do at my DW's MCF (Memory Care Facility).

Iris L.

Wear gloves.

Ed1937

Buggs, that had to hurt! I'm sorry you have yet something else to report that falls in the negative category.

Any word on finding a facility for him? If it takes that long to find an opening (especially for someone needing it NOW), it seems your government officials should make it a little easier for more facilities to get started. I know we sometimes have waiting lists here, but it just seems like you've been trying to find something forever.

toolbeltexpert

Buggs your situation has changed so much and you persevere like a trooper. I read of a pwd grabbing a woman's breast and squeezing it so hard that she lost it. Please be careful.

Delinda60

I'm very new to this and honestly this is very shocking to me...I never even thought of this being part of pwd behavior. I knew they could become agitated, scared and even angry but never even thought about physical violence. God Bless you all that are deep in the throws of this disease with your loved one.

mrahope

You are some kind of a warrior, Buggs. Truly praying that some more comprehensive care becomes available to help you soon. Please be careful until that point.

Jo C.

Buggsroo; if it isn't one thing . . . . .

Where in the world is that high acuity placement person? Do you think that because you now have a psw, that they are not keeping your husband on the top of the list for swift placement as they were going to do? If your DH has to be seen in the ER or go to the hospital, you could refuse to take him home being physically unable to safely care for him due to your own conditions and limitations.

They will find a placement and you can transfer to a different facility if the first is too far away. In Canada do you have a choice as to how far away the LO will be placed, or do you have to accept whatever comes up if placement is crucial?

Hoping placement is soonest. Take care of that boo-boo; you need construction grade gloves!

J.

tigersmom

Buggs, I am so sorry that this happened and that it is all so hard. You have been soldiering on in impossible circumstances for a very long time. I hope against hope that a place will be found for your DH very soon so you can get the rest and relief you so deserve.

Buggsroo

Thanks everyone,

PSW stands for personal support worker. The bite is healing very well but I am covered with bruises when he tries to slap or lash out. I will probably give my social worker a bell and see how things are going.

Besides the bathing business he behaves reasonably well. I am trying to keep him well fed and cared for. The poor man just lies in bed and stares into space. I would like to see him in different programs and such. I buy him magazines to try and keep him amused.

I admit I am tired but am getting more sleep. I also go up once a week to see my mom and get her groceries and what not.

mMy tetanus shots are up to date but when I get one I have to be given Benadryl right after as I am very sensitive to the ingredients in the shot. I am going to buy a pair of primate handling gloves today. Thanks for the tip.

Again thank you.

Elshack

I feel so sorry for you. Why is it taking so long to find a facility that will take your DH?

Jo C.

Elshack; our Buggsroo lives in Canada. Don't know if she is in Ontario or not, but here is a link that explains the process in getting a Loved One into a Nursing Home Canadian style. It is a bit different and one makes application to do so, then gets an in person evaluation, then gets placed on a waiting list . . . heaven help the person if they refuse the first offer . . . . it is interesting reading. If some spots are incorrect for where Buggs is, she can correct the information:

https://www.ontario.ca/page/apply-long-term-care

Long term care seems to be an issue in various ways no matter where one lives in whatever country. Wonder about Scandinavian countries where one is covered for everything from birth t.o death . . . high taxes, but no dreadful worries about so much that sends most of us into the circles of ever present angst.

J.