Shave and no haircut

tigersmom

I know I should count my blessings that my husband is still willing to shower daily and still able to shave himself every other day. But I have hit a brick wall on the haircut. He has curly hair (not much on top) and it has been cut for years by a woman he really likes. I got him to go in November, and since then, he has flat-out refused. The whole issue has become entangled with the cut-your-hair edicts of the '60s in his mind. I am guessing this resistance is common, but I'm not sure what to do. Do I buy scissors or clippers and attempt to do it myself? (My own Covid-era bang trim was only so-so.) He occasionally takes a scissors to it himself, to not great effect. And what about the eyebrows, ears and nose? He is a handsome guy, still, and it troubles me that he is starting to look kind of raggedy. Or do I just give up and let it grow? Would love to hear how others have tackled this problem.

PookieBlue

Tigersmom,

My DH has curly hair also plus his ears are uneven since he is deaf in his right ear and it is flat to his head, unlike the left ear that is shaped to catch sound. I’ve been cutting his hair for a couple of decades and I just dove right in to the task with no idea what I was doing. The first time cutting I said ‘OOPS,’ and he said don’t ever say that when your cutting my hair. I still do some OOPS, but I don’t say it. He grew a beard 12 years ago and I was having to groom that as well as his mustache. We agreed to shave off his beard about 8 to 12 months ago. He has thick dark curly hair with very little gray even though he is 77. I bought him a new electric razor and he shaves often enough. He is a nice looking man also, but can get pretty scruffy at times. The hair cutting kits should have a DVD with instructions. I never looked at them, but think I probably should have. His brows are unruly but I just take the scissors to them. He started to bite his mustache when it got too long. Usually I just even it up with the scissors. I think you could do the job if that would solve the problem, unless a pony tail style would suffice.

Denise1847

Any chance you can get the lady who was cutting his hair to come to the house?

easy23

Once I start offering to cut DH's hair he goes to the barber shop. I would watch a youtube and try it myself if he didn't go.

Ed1937

Try to get the woman who cut his hair before to come to the house. If that doesn't work, and he won't let you cut his hair, I'd say just let it go. If it's not hurting anything, you don't need the added stress. You will get used to it. In today's world, just about anything is acceptable when it comes to hair styles.

tigersmom

Hi, all. Thank you for your suggestions. Denise and Ed, his haircutter actually did volunteer to come to the house, but he does not remember her. I was afraid she would make the trip and he still would refuse the haircut. Maybe that was a mistake. The next time she is back in town, I think I will ask her to do that. If that doesn't work, I think I will be purchasing a kit as Valerie suggested. And watching some YouTube videos. Sigh.

JC5

Oh the things we as caregivers learn on this journey! So far DH is ok going to the barber for a haircut ,thank God, but is not so great about showering! UGH! He’s come to think that shaving is a shower! Well at least the shaving cream smells good so as a result so does he for a while! Pick our”battles” . Good luck on earning your hair cutting degree! Quite sure you will be great!

Lorita

As time goes on you'll learn to not sweat the small stuff. If he still bathes and shaves you're lucky. Long hair is really in style so maybe he wants a different look.

ImMaggieMae

I started cutting my DH and sister’s hair at the beginning of the Covid lockdown. It was much easier than I expected it to be and so I’ve just continued. I’ve tried a couple types of clippers over the years and could never get the hang of them. So I always use scissors. My DH has straight hair so it’s not too difficult. Start slow. Cut off just a small amount, comb it, and see how it looks. If ok, take off a little more until you get it to where you want it. We do it after a shower or I use a spray bottle on clean hair. Sometimes I do most of it one day and finish it the next. If you do a little at a time, even if you screw up a little, it won’t take long to grow back. He is used to me doing it, so he doesn’t protest. He has a beard which I also cut with a scissors. I trim his mustache with a small scissors. That’s the most challenging, to get it all the same length without cutting his lip. I use an electric trimmer for the hair on his neck.

Going slow and taking off only a little at a time is the key. Once you get the hang of it, it’s easy.

I also cut our two Maltipoo’s hair.

Sometimes when i’m feeling down I add up all the money we’ve saved on haircuts over the past few years.

Pat6177

My DH has cut his own hair most of his life. As he went bald on top, he started shaving his head and it looked fine. Then with AD, he forgot that he shaved his head and let his hair grow out a bit and does periodically cut it - rather haphazardly. Now, every couple of weeks he’ll tell me that it’s amazing but his hair doesn’t grow anymore! He forgets that he has cut it and believes that it just doesn’t grow. I just agree that it is pretty incredible.