Searching for a baby?

Mapcalvert

My mom has started exhibiting a new symptom: she is unsure where a baby is and is desperate to find it. She even wanders outside to look in our tool shed! She cannot be consoled or redirected. My dad and I do what we can to intervene but we end up just going along with it until her delusion subsides.

My question to this group would be: any tips or suggestions for this?

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M1

I'm with Victoria, it's worth a try. Similar to artificial pets which also are used sometimes.

MN Chickadee

This is actually rather common with dementia. Sometimes they time travel and are convinced they are missing a child or sibling. Many PWD especially women will take to baby dolls. My mother's memory care facility had a closet full of baby dolls to pass out because it's so common. She had a phase where she was really anxious unless she had a doll with her. She treated it like a real baby. I got a bunch of preemie clothes at a second hand store and she spent hours dressing it and it would even come to the dining table with her. After a while she abandoned the dolls and it was all about her robotic cat. It's hard for the family to accept that this is where their loved one is at but you get to a point where you do whatever brings them comfort. I would get a doll and try it. If you aren't sure how she will react, just leave it somewhere in the house for her to find and she can take it or leave it. If a doll doesn't work, and you are using good dementia communication (not arguing but agreeing and trying to validate feelings) then you may want to work with her doctors on medication for her to control the anxiety.

theladymaryj

Victoria2020 thanks for your post, my mom has experienced the same behavior. My siblings and I were wondering if something happened in her past regarding a baby. I joined this group today seeking help and I believe it’s a good thing. Thank you for sharing and reaching out, your question has generated comments that I think are helpful.

lboogie

Throughout my mom's Alzheimer's (she's 8 years in) her maternal instincts have always been heightened – she is very sensitive to the needs of babies or kids. I have tried giving her dolls to play with and dress and undress, and she often spends a good amount of time doing that – it does give her comfort. Sometimes we sit on benches near playgrounds, as watching kids also gives her comfort. We've also made a few photo albums of all the children in her life including me and my brother and all her grandkids. Flipping through that almost daily helps. Maybe you could try something like that and talk through the photos ensuring her all is well with her family and the "babies" in her life.

whitg

Mom living with Alzheimer's (>5 years) and continuously asks daily about when she is going home from her IL facility. Also, asks who is taking care of the boys at home (she had 4 boys). Wondering if this is the time to initiate a therapy doll (Boy) and what are the negatives/positives for this? How would we present the doll to her? Looking for any advice.

SiberianIris

One of my favorite dementia experts, Rachel Wonderlin, says you can introduce a therapy doll or stuffed animal by sitting with them and showing them the doll and saying "What do you think about this?" and waiting for their reaction. Whether they think it's real or fake, you just agree with them.

When I gave my mom a "Joy for All dog", she knew it wasn't real, but she loved it. A year later, she sometimes thinks it's real and still loves it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRuiRi7qSyE

emmee

The best thing we've figured out for my mom with late-stage dementia is that she loves to have a realistic-looking baby doll around. It was actually my youngest child's "bitty baby" doll (from the American girl doll store—very realistic looking head, hands, and feet, and soft in the middle, with a complexion that looks like it could be my mother's own). Having the baby gives her so much comfort and happiness, we always give it to her at bedtime, give it to her when she's sundowning or anxious, etc. She seems to think it's real—wraps it in a blanket, kisses it, gently talks to it, "feeds" it, etc. Back when she was able to speak more, when sundowning she was constantly asking about "the kids"—she had 5 of her own (all adults now) and loved kids generally. It seems having the baby doll allows her to direct that maternal energy somewhere and get a comforting sense that her child/children are safe. Once when she was more verbal I asked why she seemed so tired and she looked at the doll and said "I've been taking care of the baby all day!" LOL