Any advice for preserving relationship with grandchild?

BookBuffBex

My mom (83) and dad (85) have always been very involved in my son's life. I am their only child, he is their only grandchild. Mom has ML and dad has other health issues. They moved to AL about 6 months ago. Mom cannot retain any new information and asks the same questions over and over again. We have always been a small, very close family. My son (22) recently graduated college and is living at home with us while job hunting, figuring out next steps. He's a wonderful young man, and so far, extremely patient and kind in dealing with the changes to his grandparents. I know he's not a child, but I worry the stuff he hears me talking about is going to change how he feels about his grandparents. I'm trying to find the right balance in preserving his relationship with his grandparents without him taking on a caregiver role; or the repetitiveness of my mother's questions becoming overwhelming and damaging to him. For example, when we tell her he graduated college, she wants to know why he isn't going to graduate school. She's not accusatory, but I can tell he's getting annoyed at having to explain it over and over again several times in a short visit. So far, he has not visited them without me, nor have I asked him to take on any major care responsibility. I think he's grateful, but at the same time wants to help me to help them because he sees how stressed I get. I had no relationship with my grandparents and they had all died while I was still in my teens. I want my son to continue to have a special relationship with his grandparents while he can, but not sure if I'm doing the right things to help preserve that relationship. Does this make sense? How do I help my adult son while I myself am still struggling with the parent/daughter relationship? TIA

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pete_johnson

I helped care for my Grandfather from his diagnosis through his death. Now I am glad I had that experience, since my mom was diagnosed last week. At least I already know some of what to expect and that unless something else happens, it will kill her.

I don’t mean to sound harsh or unsympathetic, but learning about caring for an Alzheimer’s patient will probably benefit him in the long run.