Dealing with stubborn LO who won't go to the doctor

Patriciadng

I am looking for some advice - I have 2 parents that live together and are both suffering from dementia. My father has reached the stage where he recognizes that he is mentally failing, but he is refusing to see a doctor for a definitive diagnosis, or for the possibility of medication that can help with his increasing paranoia and anxiety. My siblings and I cannot physically force him to see a doctor and he refuses to let anyone in to see him even if I could find a doctor willing to make a house call.

Does anyone have any experience with this with some great ideas?

My mom is happy in her state but will not get involved with helping us with my dad. He is a retired physician and used to getting his way...haha.

Thank you in advance

Emily 123

It's always hard.

Can you use your father's experience as a physician to help you? At some point the dementia can make it hard for the person to have empathy, but he surely must have seen some families at a loss or in conflict because their loved ones didn't set up any structure around power of attorney, or advanced care directives. Does he still have the capacity to make those decisions for both your mother and himself? If you could at least get that in order, then as his capacity diminishes you would be better set up to step in.

I told my mother the doctor's visit was for new insurance/Medicare requirements, and gave the doctor a heads up ahead of time about the behaviors our family was seeing along with the denial/anosognosia.

WorkWithWhatYaGot

We had a housecall practice and after a fall, I spoke only of "a possible small stroke", nothing about memory issues and urged a check-up to rule out the "possible small stroke." I never tried to get to a regular doctor's office; it would have been a complete waste of time.

Gakinrolabu

Start recording each episode. Once you get 4-5 under your belt, let him know and then ask him if he would be open to a memory test.