From White Crane re: question by Another Day

White Crane

Dear Another Day...and others, on April 26 you commented on a post I had written. At the end you asked me how I got things started to get someone to come in and stay with DH. Please forgive me for being so late in answering you. I didn't see your post until yesterday. It's hard for me to get on the computer for very long at a time and I just missed it.

In answer to your question, at first I was afraid to even try to get any outside help since DH was adamant that he didn't want anyone to "babysit" him. When I finally got my nerve up...thanks to the people on this forum...I contacted Home Instead. They were very informative and willing to help but I could not afford them. I finally contacted The Area Agency On Aging and they arranged an interview. It turned out that I qualified for sixteen hours of respite care a month. This care did not depend on my income. That was over a year ago. The first caregiver was not a good fit and DH was adamant about not needing anyone to watch him or babysit him. We went through this with at least five different caregivers before the agency finally sent someone who could relate well with him. There have been a few bumps but all in all it is working out well. I hope this helps. Please reach out and get the help you need. It is so important for you to have some "you" time.

Brenda

saltom

My DH was by nature so riddled with anxiety that he didn't want to be left alone so having a caregiver in was no problem. I interviewed about 5 agencies over the phone and settled on one for a home visit. There was a bit of time finding the right person, and the agency wasn't always able to find a substitute when the regular caregiver was unavailable. The final caregiver was a gem and a real help. I used in-home care for about six months having someone in between two to three times a week for four hour shifts. Due to DH's increase in LB hallucinations and agitation and concerns for my health, I placed DH in out of home Memory Care after that. I used a hospice recommended agency for help in finding memory care at no cost to me.

White Crane

saltom, my husband is getting to the point where he no longer wants to be left alone either. When his regular caregiver is unavailable, I just cancel my plans. It’s too upsetting for him to have someone new coming in.