Wife's outbursts

????

Today, had a new experience that I don't know how to deal with. I get up early, my wife sleeps late. I got up did some pruning, mowed lawn etc. When I came back in the house she was just finishing showering. I told her I was going to soak in our hot tub and then take a shower. I was getting things ready and put a towel and wash cloth by the shower. She came it and started to take my wash cloth and towel away. I told her that I was going to take a shower and just to leave them there. I did raise my voice, she says I was yelling. She started to cry and I put my arm around her and held her for a while. I then headed to the hot tub, then took a shower. Afterwards I was putting chemicals in the hot tub, she came over there and started yelling at me, saying I needed to do something about my anger, she did not deserve this etc. I know better than to try to reason or argue with her, so I finally walked off. She was was out on the deck and I was in our living room, I could hear something and she was stomping her feet, yelling , threw her phone. I went out on the deck and said I was sorry again. She was yelling at me, telling me that I needed to go to a Doctor etc. I walked back in the house, she came in there yelling at me, started hitting me, more yelling, telling me that I need help. I told her I was not going to engage with her this way. She went outside again. I was in my chair with the lap top in my lap. She came back in, stared yelling at me, threw a glass with a drink in my face, grabbed my lap top, smashed it. More yelling. I cannot reason with her. She said she could not deal with "my outbursts". I told her I did not do anything like what I was getting in returned... I decided to leave, started packing a suit case, then decided not to go. She called our daughter at work and told her something. Then told me that our daughter was coming over after work to pick her up and she was spending the night there. She also said our daugher would take her to eye doctor appointment. I am not sure just what to do. I will call our daughter and tell her what happen.

HollyBerry

That sounds sad and scary. My partner will get started on a loop - it's usually when some big emotion sets her off, but sometimes it's a little thing - and she runs over it and over it in her mind and gets more and more angry. There's definitely an anxiety component as well. The worst loop so far was last summer before we went on vacation to visit family, a trip we've made many times over the years. She was just SO ANGRY for days, and for the first half of the trip, at me and only me. Then one day she woke up in a decent mood and it was over. She did it again before another family visit, and that time I realized she had missed her meds intermittently over the week before we left and while we were visiting, and that probably contributed to the problem.

So - anxiety? missed meds? UTI?

loveskitties

????, has your wife been diagnosed? If so, you should contact her doctor to relate what you shared here.

My biggest concern about your post is the level of violence she is exhibiting. That is not good under any circumstances. I would suggest that you consider calling 911 should any violence occur again and ask that she be admitted to geri-pshych for evaluation.

Her safety and yours are first priority.

Marta

I want to ditto what loves kitties wrote about calling 911 for episodes of violence, and do not recommend this lightly. I had to do this twice for my DH - the second time he transitioned from Geri-Psych to MC after a two week stay to adjust meds.

????

My wife has been diagnosed. I talked to my daughter, she said her mother told her that I was yelling at her at the top of my lungs. Far from the truth. My daughter also said that her Mother was yelling at her that it got to the point that my daughter told her mother that she was going to hang up on her if she did not stop yelling. Our daughter ask me if I thought it might be time to put her Mother into Memory Care. I don't really thinks so, but I cannot put up with this forever. Our daughter is going to keep her Mother over the weekend. So I am headed over to visit with my 91 year old Uncle. When I get back, I am going to start checking out MC places. I am not afraid of her hurting me, I am bigger than she is, I think I can defend myself if necessary. It is just the emotional part of seeing this behavior from my wife of 45 years. When we found out she had Alzheimer's, I told her that I was her for the whole journey, and I would keep her had home as long as possible.

Iris L.

Check for a UTI.

Ed1937

So this is something new today. That should be reason to consider having a test for UTI. UTIs can bring all kinds of symptoms, even if the typical symptoms are non existent. She needs to see a doctor for possible med adjustments for behavior, including antibiotics if there is a UTI.