Unkind remarks about residents

Peonie60

My dear dad has been in MC for a year. He is well cared for and content. His long-time wife, however, continues to make petty and mean remarks about dad’s fellow residents—what they do, how they look, etc. She visits dad every day and for that I am grateful. But how do I deal with this beyond reminding her that it’s MC and everyone there is doing their best? TIA

M1

I wish I had an answer for you. My partner--the MC resident--does some of the same and it's hard to listen to. I have not seen her be unkind to anyone to their face, but she shies away from residents who are more impaired--which is most--and is not eager to make friends among those who are more at her level. She will say things to me in private--"that person is just pitiful"--and things like that. She is most likely to get defensive if someone gets in her space, wanders up to her table or tries to join a group if there are visitors. I just tell her that there are lots of different reasons people are there and that you just don't know what their situation might be. When i greet some of the other residents I've gotten to know, she'll ask me how i know that person. I don't think any introductions stick, so it must feel to her like she's in a crowd of strangers all the time.