so interesting--but sad

M1

I was at MC yesterday when the occupational therapist came to do a 30-day assessment on my partner. Really nice woman, I'd like her when I met her before. Interesting to watch her work.

My partner did really well on motor strength tests--she always was physically strong--but had difficulty following directions to take off a sock. Completely showtimed that she was able to take a shower by herself: I explained that she can still go through the motions once in the shower and had good balance, but will not shower without cueing and needs me to turn the water on, wash her back and hair. We talked a lot about what shoes she should be wearing and she got defensive when the therapist suggested I take her slides away (will have to spirit them out I think).

What stung the most: she was able to say her full name (so oriented to person), but not to place or time. No clue. I knew this, but it's somehow painful to watch it confirmed by someone else.

Beachfan

Long after DH could do anything for himself or by himself, and long after much of what he said was complete gibberish, he could still recite his full name including middle initial when asked, “What is your name?” (He had no clue when asked about names of others.) That fascinated me.

Joydean

M1 I’m so sorry, I know how that feels. I know my dh has problems with names and everything else. Wednesday we were at his PCP (who happened to be a new doctor and didn’t know David) he asked dh his name and he could tell dr full name. Then as VA doctors always ask what are the last 4 of your social. David has no idea so he told dr she knows. Dr asked who is she, dh said she takes care of me. What is her name? David got upset and wanted to leave. First time he couldn’t remember my name. The hour and half drive back home was hard to keep the tears from falling.

GothicGremlin

I'm so sorry, M1. It is very hard to have your fears confirmed by an objective third party.

Your experience is much like what I experienced when an occupational therapist did a thirty day assessment of my sister. I wanted to believe that Peggy was better off than she was, even though deep down I knew she wasn't. Like your partner, Peggy still knows her full name, but not much else, not the day, the time, the month, or even the year.

I remember feeling more and more deflated as the assessment progressed.

M1

It's interesting to note what's affected and what's not. Thinking about it semi-objectively keeps me from coming apart at the seams. She's really enjoying drawing right now, which I'm happy to sit and observe, but her conversations make very little sense and are more and more garbled. She doesn't remember any of the MC rooms or spaces if she's not in them, including her own. Has not recognized my name a few times this week, so that's recurring (hadn't happened in about a year). Doesn't recognize photographs of friends and family members now.

Ed1937

That sucks. I'm sorry.

toolbeltexpert

M1 sorry that's happening I agree with Ed. Glad to Hear she's using her talent and that you are getting to be there. M1 my wife doesn't recognize her bedroom or the door for the bathroom, she still recognizes friends from church but confuses relationship and hardly ever uses a proper noun.

harshedbuzz

I am sorry @M1 , it's hard to face the skills and concepts that are gone.

I, too, took an almost disconnected approach to the quirks of dad's decline. He was very verbal-- his use of language, vocabulary, prosody and pragmatics were "exceptional" in the opinion of the SLP who came to screen him for swallowing issues less than 24 hours before he died of aspiration pneumonia. Much of it was conflated-- like the visit from my sister he'd told us about. My sister had died 25 years before. When he did his last MoCA, he could subtract serially fast than my mom but could not remember the 5 words. One of those words was "rose" which was his mom's name. When prompted, he said "lily".

But the one that really struck me was when he would attempt to drink wine in defiance of my mother in late stage 5/early stage 6. He spent his days lying on the couch and would reach past his head to the wine on the side table which he would attempt to bring to his lips by tipping it forward thereby spilling it on his face which he would blame on my mom rather than the laws of gravity.

HB

White Crane

M1, it’s hard to understand the way their brains work. My DH can still slide his name when asked. If he thinks about it real hard, he can still remember his date of birth. He can still play rummy like a champ. He wins regularly. Don’t ask him to keep score though. And don’t ask him where he lives or where he used to work , or who his siblings are. All of that is gone. I’m sorry it hurts so much. There’s just no getting around the pain on this journey. Sending hugs.

Brenda

Beachfan

Sorry, HB, but I had to smile at your dad , the couch, and the wine. I hate when the grandkids do that (soda, not wine)- - “It’s fine, Mimi, I can do this…….oh crapp, sorry, Mimi”.