Ground hog day

toolbeltexpert

I watched ground hog day last night. Soo many on the forum reference it. If i watched it before I don't remember it. I get why caregivers for pwd " people with Dementia " relate to this movie!

The reference to everything that is the same day afterday, afterday, but as the movie progresses Bill Murray the one who remembers! Btw, starts to change ground hog day, to live in it, to change it, he saves peoples lives , becomes kinder, he gets to know people, he continues to live. I guess that was the big take away for me. What can I do today in my ground hog day? I know what is in the day, it's always the same, so I need to make changes in my Gound Hog day, because I already know the bad stuff, I have to make the good stuff. Bill gets to this point but only after multiple attempts to end it all. His living hell. It's only then, when he comes to his end and realizes he can't escape, that he embraces living in his ground hog day. I think people in world live this day in day out drudgery. Wake up, eat , go to work, go home eat and sleep. Rinse and repeat. I think the movie was really trying to portray that. It wasn't really portrayed for the caregivers, caring for pwd who are living the "ground hog day." We remember the bad, wanting to get it right today, only problem our is ground hog day has surprise changes thrown in for excitement.

Our challenge should we decide to accept it, is to find the elusive good, be kinder, save people, get to know people, to change "us" so our ground hog day is a little better and make it to the end of the day.

I am writing this at the mcf while dw has her breakfast coffee and Alan Jackson is singing "remember when" then dw says I need the bathroom, I get her walker and start my dancing with Alan leading the way if i dont dance I'll cry so going towards dw's room, the residents laugh as I act crazy. I help her get seated after a failed attempt, then "let's go get some coffee, Alan is now singing. " Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee" yee-ha. It's nine o'clock I say I have to go work on a mower I'll be back. How long she asks, bout an hour I reply. Ok be safe. Alan just sang remember when again.

This message will self destruct in 5,4,3,2,

Stewart

mrahope

I am truly in awe of your talent for capturing this experience. I often think the hard part is that our memory is continuous while theirs isn't. And we are "learning" through practice we never wanted.

Just Bill

I use groundhog day as a reference. I also use Abbott and Costello's "Who's on first" to describe how a typical conversation goes. I have also gotten much sillier in my interactions with my wife. Every time I help her put on a sweater I say "put your left arm in" I break into the hokie pokie song. I have found acting silly makes her laugh and makes the grind a little easier to deal with.

Iris L.

I frequently reference Grounghog Day as a requirement for PWDs, because they cannot handle changes and distractions. At the same time, I recognize that living a Groundhog Day-type of life can be tormenting for caregivers, because well people crave variety and stimulation. It is up to the caregivers to create a balance that addresses the daily needs of both.

Personally, before I realized that my memory problems weren't going away, I never made plans, I just lived each day as it came, and I did fine. But that could not continue. I had to learn to plan my day and to be disciplined and to keep to a routine. Psychologically, it was not exciting and I rebelled mentally. But eventually I learned to appreciate order and routine. I am at the point where I can handle some variation in my day, such as when I go on a trip. But I have to get back on my routine when I return home.

I also reference living in a bubble for PWDs. IMO, they need to be protected from outside distractions and confusions. This is why some PWDs may function better in a memory care residence, because everything is the same. However, caregivers don't like living in a bubble.

Of course, it is somewhat different for me because I don't have Alzheimer's Disease. But I still manage my daily lifestyle as a form of Groundhog Day, if I want to be able to continue to function independently. And I try to live in my own bubble.

Iris

ImMaggieMae

I often refer to our lives as Groundhog Day. So much is the same, day after day, month after month, year after year. The one saving grace for us is watching movies or streaming series on TV for 2 or 3 hours each night before bed. For years and years we used to refer to Saturday night as Movie and Pizza night. If we didn’t have plans with friends, that’s what we always did, rented a movie or two and brought home pizza. Then, when Covid and lockdowns came into the picture, every night was movie night. (We did have different things to eat.) Now we continue that practice. There were a few periods where my DH couldn’t sit still for more than a couple minutes and I thought watching movies together was over, but with medications, things are almost always calm in the evenings these days. I sometimes wonder how much of the movies he follows, but tears after some sad scenes or occasional laughs at funny ones, or agitation at some movies that are too violent convince me that he is still aware, at least some of the time. This is the one time of day that I am relieved of the stress and worry about this disease, and worry about the future. It’s an escape from Groundhog Day.

Denise1847

I echo your experience. I have never liked routine and get extremely bored in this Groundhog Day. people do not understand that when you do not have the liberty of just going out somewhere on the spur of the moment. Just doing what you would like to do is not an option. It is like a mental prison. I think Bill Murray is on to something to at least tweak each day to make it count in some small way.