He breaks my heart

Jeanne C.

My DH was sitting watching TV while I was getting lunch ready. I looked up and he was crying. When I asked what was wrong he told me "I keep losing people. I can't always remember them. And I'm so tired."

I just held him and cried with him. How do you even respond to this? I feel like it would somehow be better if he didn't have these moments when he realizes he's having issues. I hate dementia. Hate it.

toolbeltexpert

Jeanne you nailed it,all can you do is be there in the moment. I have experienced similar situations, felt so lost and unable to fix it and boy do I HATE dementia.

jfkoc

I agree...your response was perfect.

Ed1937

I think about the only way you can respond to this is with empathy. Hold them close, tell them you love them, and insure them that you will be there for them. They pick up on your emotional state, so trying your best to make light of it is probably the best thing you can do. Try redirecting when things like this happen. Put on some music, or find another way to get their mind off it. Short attention spans are sometimes our friend.

PookieBlue

Ditto everybody

ImMaggieMae

Your response was heartfelt and perfect. This disease is so heartbreaking.

GG06

Those moments are gut punches. The grief is relentless with dementia. Sending a virtual hug to you Jeanne. Just trying to imagine (which I can’t possibly) how your husband was feeling in that moment is so incredibly heartbreaking.

Joydean

Jeanne you did what your heart directed you to do. That’s all anyone can do. We all just do the best we can. Like you we all HATE this horrible disease. Prayers for you and your dh.

M1

Cyberempathy from here too. Worth a good many tears.

Mint

My heart goes out to both of you.

Jeanne C.

You are all amazing. Thank you for the continued support.

SDianeL

my husband got up to go to the bathroom, came back, got back in bed, jumped back up and said he was looking for "it" I asked what. He said the thing. He was frantically looking for something but couldn't say the word. I told him he was dreaming and to get back in bed and go back to sleep. Once he got back in bed he asked "I wasn't really looking for anything, was I?" I said no that I thought he was dreaming. He was quiet and then said sadly "I'm sorry I'm so messed up" It made me cry. Good thing the light was off. Later I saw a little flashlight on the bedside table. I think that was what he was looking for but he had it in his hand the whole time. I didn't mention it because I didn't want him to get upset again. It's heartbreaking and terrifying. We know how you feel.