The hide and seek game (just smaller scale)

M1

I'd like to know from others with LO's in MC if you have trouble keeping up with their belongings. Not losing things from the room, but constantly rearranging the things that are in the room. Her restlessness with possessions is striking. I try to keep the number of things and clothes pretty low, but even then--today i found one bra in her art box, and the other in her bedside table drawer. Underwear also in the bedside table drawer. A bar of soap in a baggie shoved to the back of her chest of drawers. Her coloring pencils not in her art box but in the basket for her toothbrush and toiletries in the bathroom, while her comb and hairbrush were in the art box. Top of the art box was in a drawer, full of towels. We had set up a little portable table in front of the window for her to draw on--today it was folded up in the corner, and the picture she was working on is nowhere to be found.

The music player that I brought on suggestion from the occupational therapist has just turned out to be one more thing that can be unplugged, like the table lamps. The plug cord was also in the art box today. We can't put pictures on the walls-she won't leave them--and can't leave a laundry hamper in the room, as she just uses it to try to pack up. There's one lockable cabinet where I keep extra linens and toiletry supplies.

None of this is harmful, I just find it odd and quirky. I don't see other residents doing this, but then I'm not in their rooms so much, either. Fifteen months since she left our house and I am stlll finding things in weird places now and again. Found three towels in a music cabinet on Sunday.

terei

My mother moved things around randomly constantly. I dont think there is any explanation except a diseased brain not working properly

ThisLife

My H is not in MC, yet. But he engages in similar behavior at home. I need to leave his stuff out as he does not remember he has it much less find it. He is constantly rearranging. Moves things in/out of closet. Inventories multiple times a day; opening/closing drawers, cabinets. Closet fills up with random stuff from around the house. Rearranges items in the garage. Large box with dog food disappeared. (It was near the coat closet which IS close to the front door.) The need to be hyper aware of where items are at minute to minute is exhausting. And immediately hide stuff I can't deal with right now.

I think it is an attempt to create order where order no longer exists. Part of a stage called Stage to drive Care Partner crazy.

Ed1937

My wife never did that kind of thing. When she was home, she would open all the cabinet doors in the kitchen, but she would just look at where things were. She didn't take things out or rearrange them. Not sure what she did at MC.

SDianeL

My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago and also rearranges things. He will sit at the pantry and reorganize it for an hour. When he's done, the things are lined up on the edges of the shelves with nothing in the middle. We moved into a small apartment and he refuses to put anything away in the bathroom. I think it's because he can't remember where to look for it. He will dry the dishes but not put them away. I think for the same reason. He leaves some cabinet doors open. He keeps asking if I want the bedroom door closed or open. I always leave it open during the day but close it at night. I think ThisLife is correct. They are trying to make sense of a world that no longer does.

Waldorf

This is a big issue with me. My DW is constantly rearranging everything in the house, removing cushions from the couch, pillows, pictures and remaking the bed. It is endless. The only thing to do is let her wear herself out and then go back and rearrange it. I no longer make the bed because she will probably mess it up. I am learning that the less she has access to, less she can mess up.

toolbeltexpert

M1 you described my dw down to a tee. Things turn up in random places. Underwear is in multiple places. The only thing that stays kinda normal is the wardrobe with has a plastic lock that pwd can't open. I have given up on putting it all back, so it is what it is. I know you are visiting much more so your seeing this more often. The only thing I keep up with is her jeans. I put anything that I use on a daily basis or I want to know where it's at in the locked wardrobe. Window shopping as they call it is inevitable in a mcf. My dw was a big one at first but that seems to be gone now.

This is Just another thing I let go of I guess.

Stewart

Colt99

Had to laugh after I read your post then walked into DW MC room at 7:30 this morning. Almost EVERYTHING was out and piled up. We have been in MC for two months now and this continuation of behavior at home - just less stuff to move now.

mrahope

I'm 100% with you guys. Probably one of the funniest things was the clementine he stashed in the microwave. That would have really been a mess if he had turned it on.

Jeanne C.

Everything gets moved all the time. I've learned his main hiding spots so I can find most things (still don't know where he hid his underwear that time it all went missing). I've also learned that the things he considers important go into his bottom nightstand drawer: wallet, keyring, watch, and, strangely, flushable wipes (he's obsessed with them).

M1

Helps to know it goes on elsewhere, I guess I just don't see it with the other folks in her unit. Does tend to drive me a bit nuts. Seems like there should be a "why" but there isn't. Very random.

Gig Harbor

My husband did that until he could no longer walk. Now his room stays neat and organized. He is in a unit where all residents have difficulty moving around on their own so now nothing goes missing from his room. Before this stage he was constantly moving things around. I just finished cleaning out the garage and getting rid of stuff from years ago that he never looked at but would not get rid of. It is sad that their condition has to deteriorate before that behavior will stop.

Denise1847

My aunt became paranoid and believed everyone was stealing from her. Her main issues were all her stuffed animals, diapers and candy. One day when we were visiting, my husband thought a chair cushion felt funny and lifted it to find a giant Hersey bar, which she had hid and swore that someone had stolen it. We found all of her stuffed animals and a boat load of diapers in her closet after she had passed.

M1

I think that's right, I don't think this behavior will stop until she is nonambulatory. You may recall that the Occupational Therapist suggested I put up a whiteboard to remind her of where she is, when I will be coming etc. I have left a note up with my name saying that I will be there tomorrow--of course she doesn't know what tomorrow is. My initial of course is M--and today, while I was there, she looked at the board and asked me who M was. Ouch. This was happening intermittently before but seems to be a permanent thing now. And so it goes....

toolbeltexpert

Sorry M1, today my wife used my name which I hadn't heard for such a Long time.

Elshack

My DH who has been in MC for 10 mo constantly takes his socks out of the drawer and pairs them up and leaves them around his room, on his walker etc. He always has been a tidy person but I think this behavior is rather typical of ALZ patients. He looks through his cards ( Valentine's Day, Easter, Birthday etc. ) umpteen times during the day. That seems to bring him some comfort.

I had purchased a hearing aid for $ 1800.00 just a few months before he went to MC. Lo and behold, it was missing 2 mo after he was in MC never to be seen again. He may have thrown it in the wastepaper basket. Also gone was his upper plate.

I agree with you that the white board is useless. My DH forgot to read it or if he did, would forget what it said or meant. I am lucky that he knows who I am and refers to me by name and calls me his lovely wife.

harshedbuzz

It is amazing what PWD will do.

My dad didn't futz much with household objects; but he was very interested in "the papers"-- his word for things like his drivers license, car titles, bank statements, house titles and would tear apart boxes he believed to contain such things. He also had a notion that the world has gone "wireless". Cords of any kind were "an assault" to his eyes. He would unplug and disconnect anything corded-- the TV cable box and DVD player was a personal favorite along with phone chargers.

My aunt lived alone with undiagnosed dementia in widowhood. She had a good-sized property with a main house, a couple cottages, a boathouse and a workshop with a 4-bay garage that had to be gone through when she went into memory care. Oh, the things we found. A 12' closet filled, floor to ceiling, with paper grocery sacks that contained NYT crosswords she'd cut out carefully. So much for the best practices of doing crosswords as if the brain were a muscle. She had an investment account that sent her a monthly distribution by paper check. She made copies of the checks, stapled the original, copy and envelope together and stashed in a linen closet. And there was cash stashed everywhere; I found 10 crisp Benjamins mixed in a basket of dirty socks. My personal favorite was a tiny pistol and bullets my cousin came across in a hollowed-out book titled Best Practices in Secondary Education.

HB

MN Chickadee

My mother did exactly this until she was non-ambulatory. Her room was just a disaster despite our best efforts to make it nice. We had to remove picture frames and lamps and anything she could take apart. She even disassembled her rocking chair (and she was never handy like your wife.)

Just Bill

My wife used to walk around the house cleaning as a form of a hobby. Now I call them "Pace and Disorganize" missions. There is no stopping her either, she thinks she is doing her old job perfectly. It is a constant strain on my patience. I am always taking a cleansing breath and saying "let it go". She is drawn to the kitchen like a moth to a light bulb. She also is perpetually folding and refolding her clothes. She mixes dirty with clean so I have to smell something before she wears them. She has put a dishwasher full of dirty dishes away, and ran the dishwasher with a fork and a cup in it. Luckily she forgets the soap. So to remove all triggers I have to keep up on dishes and laundry. The house can be spotless and she will still embark on her pace and disorganize missions at least twice a day. In the morning and at night the disorganizer energy bunny goes on full blast. I am learning to care less and less but it is a work in process. Once I hear her starting to pace I get anxiety. I just keep telling myself she can't break anything or lose anything that can't be replaced and she can't escape or hurt herself so just breathe and let it go. While she is pacing I can escape to another room or out in the backyard and breathe, exercise and meditate. It is exhausting but like anything else with time and stress comes adaptation, so I am getting used to our abnormal existence. I do fantasize about shooting her in the butt with a tranquilizer dart, but I would never follow through on that fantasy. It does make me smile though.

terei

My mother used to move things around, especially in the middle of the night. I think she couldn’t sleep + was bored. When she was tired of that, she would go down the hall + sit with the aids at the desk if they were there + not busy in the wee hours.

toolbeltexpert

Bill I laughed several times reading your post. I thought I was the only one that would smell underwear to she if it was usable and my dw is constantly taking napkins and ripping them to little squares and folding them. Oh and the odd items my dw saved was condiment cups, not just a few, several big black trash bags that I threw away in my downsizing. She still wants to save them at the mc and asks me if we should save them.

JoseyWales

In DH's MC there are 2 women who are constantly loading up their walkers with tons of belongings (Theirs and others) and wandering around with them. One of them often brings me a handful of items - like shirts, towels, etc. I just thank her and later move them to where they belong. It keeps these two women busy, and staff just makes sure everything gets back to the right rooms later. I recently found one of the women in my husband's room moving things around. I let her stay busy moving his things. DH won't know, and it kept her busy. There's nothing of value that DH has there that can't go missing.

DH used to move things around when he was home. I'd find things all over. For the most part, those in his MC are past the point of needing to move things around.