How to not be a nag about brushing teeth

annie51

I'm new to this wonderful community and have a "nagging" problem I need advice on. Most every evening, I have to remind/tell DH to brush his teeth and he usually responds with either "no, I don't need to brush every day" or rolls his eyes, gets mad and does it. It's becoming a once a day stress right before bed. I don't know if it's because I tell him to do it (am I nagging him?) or if he really just doesn't want to. I'm ok with once-a-day brushing at this point. Any advice?

Ed1937

I've always felt like PWD feel as though they are being bossed around all the time. Teeth brushing and other hygiene issues are always tough. Some people just give up on teeth brushing, but of course that isn't the way they want it. My guess is that he just doesn't believe he needs to brush every day.

The time will come when he won't think it is necessary to wash his hands after using the bathroom. And he will forget what toilet paper is for. Then comes bathing. It's all hard, but people here will tell you what worked for them. Sorry, but I don't have suggestions on brushing teeth other than offering something as a reward after he brushes. Maybe a dish of ice cream (this is popular) or cookies and coffee.

Ed1937

You might say "I'm going to brush my teeth now before bedtime. Do you want to join me?" It's always best if they think they are making the decision, rather than have it forced on them.

PookieBlue

I hand my DH his toothbrush with the tooth paste on it. His eye sight is limited so this always helps, unless he has already crawled into bed.

gampiano

I also hand my DH the toothbrush with the toothpaste on it, and i brush my own teeth while standing across from him.

Awhile ago, i moved the toothbrushes and paste into the kitchen. this way, after breakfast and dinner i just pull them out of the cabinet and we brush together. Its so much easier this way. Hope it works for you if you try it.

PS I also moved the shaving supplies into the kitchen. Thinking outside the box a little, as my husband no longer takes the initiative to shave himself.

annie51

Great suggestions! Thank you.

M1

This is one I've just about given up on. Especially in MC. I'm lucky if I get her in a shower twice a week, i just don't think the aides have the manpower to oversee dental hygiene for everyone. And i don't think she does it herself. Hate it, but it's a pick your battles thing.

storycrafter

I've let it go. My dh still brushes his teeth every morning, once a day, without prompting. So far I've left it at that.

Jeanne C.

Is it possible he's having some type of pain and avoiding brushing because of it? Mine was hesitant to brush, and finally I realized he had an abscess.

Anyway, when I couldn't get him to brush, I could usually get him to at least rinse with mouthwash.

GG06

This is an ongoing struggle I have with my husband too. Fortunately, he still brushes once a day which he feels is enough. He had to have a root canal a couple of months ago that was traumatic experience for him. I'm sure it was for the dental staff as well. Anyway, I tell him if he doesn't brush his teeth, he will need another root canal. @Jeanne C. he used to use mouthwash daily after brushing his teeth but stopped a few years ago - interestingly about the same time I started noticing other changes.

@gampiano Great suggestion of keeping toothbrushes and toothpaste in the kitchen!

tigersmom

For me, doing it together works best. He is always willing to do it in the morning after we shower. At night, if he is tired or sleepy, he is much less likely to do it. It would never happen at all without prompting, so don't feel like you are nagging. They just don't remember. At night, if he's awake, I try to say pleasantly, "I just brushed my teeth. Would you like to, too?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We do what we can.

Jo C.

Sometimes a change in brushes and paste can be helpful. Try getting a small head VERY soft small children's toothbrush and some of the children's flavored toothpaste. That has helped some folks.

The idea of doing it together in a pleasant manner sounds supportive. Here's hoping . . .

J.

Annen1014

My DH's physician and psychologist both tell me that I need to make sure my husband gets a nutritious diet, plenty of exercise, and good socializing. I will not spend my remaining years with him nagging and cajoling. I can take him out to eat have guests for dinner, arrange for friends to meet him for coffee. I can prepare excellent meals, but I can't make him eat them. I can ask him to take a walk with me, but I can lift him out of his recliner and move his legs.

You can let him brush once a day. If he gets tooth decay, that's the least of your worries.

SDianeL

Read the book "The 36 Hour Day" it has some tips. My DH wasn't showering and he got upset if I told him it was time. So we made a deal for him to shower 2x a week and I go get everything ready. Then I tell him his shower is ready. The book said that there are 2 reasons they don't do hygiene things. They forget how long it's been since they last did the task and 2. It's overwhelming to their brain. There are steps involved in every task. So now I get his towel, body wash, wash cloth, even turn on the water to get it warm. That usually helps unless he's having a bad day. I bought him a new battery operated toothbrush and he's using it. He does forget to shave. Going to try to get that ready and see how it goes. We put all his toiletries on the counter in the bathroom so he can find them.

Gthoma

There are some good suggestions here. I'd mostly given up as DW will only brush with Listerine even though we have plenty of Toothpaste. At least she's brushing but this gives me some things to try.