Delusions of incest
My mother is 89 and father 91. They moved in with my sister and BIL last October. My mother has dementia and a recent CT scan of the brain showed atrophy. She is on hospice for COPD. A nurse comes out once a week to take vitals.
Recently, my mother has started having delusions that my sister and my father are having an affair. She is very distressed and wants to move out and get a divorce. She is agitated and anxious, and verbally abuses my sister. She yells and screams esp when sundowning. She berates my father. She is phoning family members about the incest. She wants to leave immediately.
Hospice said that she has dementia and probably hypoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain). They want her to take morphine three times a day to improve breathing. They also want her to take haldol for the delusions, and lorazepam for the anxiety. My mother refuses to take any medication. She is paranoid about being drugged.
My brother has the durable POA and medical power of attorney. Any idea of what our next step should be?
Comments
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Yikes! Sadly, ugly as this is, it is not all that uncommon in dementia. I would venture that it's less about incest and more a general feeling of suspicion and paranoia around her husband being unfaithful. She might not "get" that your sister is her child/their child. The nuances and social norms of relationships became hazy in stage 6 for my dad. He believed for a time that my younger sister was his and his sister's child a notion that he shared with a number of medical professionals.
Your sister might be a trigger for mom and probably shouldn't visit until this is managed better. I'd discuss hiding medications in a treat like pudding or ice cream with her hospice doctor. Or maybe some meds could be given via a patch.
HB
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My mom is having similar issue but not to that extreme. Mom been saying people dying etc etc sometimes for hours.
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My mom was on lorazepam as needed, nightly at least (disguised in yogurt), but wasn’t on Haldol too or morphine, until she was transitioning and then actively dying. I’d try the lorazepam for sure at this point. Good suggestions above except not sure how to keep sis away since she’s in her home. This is all so difficult, I’m very sorry for this stage in the process.
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I second talking to the hospice doctor or a pharmacist about alternative forms of medications. Some (not all) can be crushed and hidden in a tasty treat. This may improve her quality of life and delusions. I believe Morphine and Haldol come in a liquid format.
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Sympathy for you and your family. Have been through that stage with mum.. so very paranoid of everything and everyone. All I can say is it does pass.0
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Thanks for your replies. My mom is now in the hospital for low oxygen, high BP.. They said she doesn't have hypoxia and that dementia is responsible for the delusions and extreme confusion. She was hostile to the nurses and elbowed the doctor. The hospital is offering inpatient hospice but my mother won't sign a DNR. We don't know if inpatient hospice will accept her without the DNR. The medical proxy may be able to sign for her, so fingers crossed.
Update: My brother got my mother to sign DNR
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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