Do people with stage 2 regress to past toxic behaviors

cel615

He was toxic previously, anger, defensive, always never his fault . Separated, he got help, returned for 4 wonderful years, all issues gone, took full responsibility for past toxic behavior….. last 6-8 months though, he us now in stage 2 gds score of 4.5 , seeing same behavior return, not often, but enough to worry me, more frequent episodes, more intense. With last week being the worse.

how can i tell if its the disease????

loveskitties

What type of "help" did he get...was it talk therapy, medications or a combination of both?

Was the return of the behavior sudden or increasing over time as it returned? If sudden it could be related to a medical infection like UTI...which can cause behavior change.

I would contact his PCP or doctor who provided the diagnosis, relate the issues and see if testing for UTI warranted or perhaps some mood stabilizing meds.

harshedbuzz

@cel615

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad you found this place.

I'm a little confused. Does your LO have a dementia diagnosis or are you looking to ascribe his recent behaviors as the potential onset of the disease?

Assuming that he has been evaluated and diagnosed with a form of dementia, when you say "stage 2" is that stage 2 of 3 as most medical professionals would stage? When you say "gds score of 4.5" is that shorthand for Reisberg's Global Deterioration Scale with him having symptoms of both stage 4 and 5?

Assuming I guessed correctly, I would say your hunch could be spot on sadly. There are a couple of ways dementia can trigger the sort of behavior you are seeing.

You reference him getting help for anger issues in the past for which he is to be commended. If part of that help was talk-therapy, it could be the deficits of his stage of dementia are interfering with him being able to put the work he did into practice consistently.

Dementia is about so much more than memory. It also impacts executive function, reasoning and empathy fairly early on. In a situation where he's learned better ways to react to frustration through therapy, he may get to a point where he's 1) forgotten them entirely because information is LIFO. Or he 2) recalls them but doesn't recognize he needs to implement them in the moment perhaps because of a lack of empathy and understanding how his actions impact you.

Two other issues could be feeding this as well. Many PWD, even those who'd been even keeled their entire lives, develop depression with their dementia. In men, especially, this depression can be manifested by irritability and anger. He's likely past more talk therapy, but medication to treat the depression can improve quality of life.

In the middle and later stages, many PWD develop a condition called anosognosia where they are unable to recognize that they have had a cognitive shift and are no longer as capable as they once were. This can make caregiving and safety issues especially challenging as the PWD will see no need to give up driving or manage their financial life. In such situation, taking the reins overtly can trigger the behavior you describe which means you would be forced to manipulate the situation by working behind his back and therapeutic lies.

I am sorry you are living this.

HB

cel615

Thank you, you were correct in all your assumptions.

after his return , after treatment for his anger ( yes, i made him leave , it was 2 years) and an additional 8 months before I would consider trusting him again, he said it was “ the hardest work he had ever done”, but worth every bit of effort.

we had 4.5 blissful years, even though he was initially diagnosed with stage 1 about 12 months later. App 18 months later he was diagnosed as beginning stage 2.

yes, that was the global deterioration scale i was referring to.

this fall, i was gone for 11 weeks, with a 92 yr mom, In numerous hospitals, rehab facilities.

his support by phone was fantastic.

but when I returned, I noticed a difference… not major, but slowly the episodes of anger, “ youre calling me stupid, you only care about you “ when i would try to explain his information was incorrect… 3 months ago I reminded him i would never return to toxic behavior. To stop making assumptions about me, …he needed to go to the respectful interactions we had had for the past 4 years. He also developed more physical problems, he does have a very bad heart, chf level 3, diabetes, circulatory problems etc. when i would say, hey, we’re getting old, aches and pains are a part of life… smile, no need to stop living, just do things slower, or inn a different way…. Sitting in your recliner all day every day is the worst thing, he accused me of not caring, of me wanting him to “think himself well”…. I could not get through to him the mind is powerful. If we start the day telling ourselves how bad we feel, then. Yup, we will feel bad. My partner is gone, not that hes like that all the time, but i never know. It’s heartbreaking. We are going to get the results of the new eval today. Have an appointment with geriatric psychiatrist tomorrow. I think its time to have zyprexa on hand. He cancelled 5 appointments he had , heart and vascular surgeon because “ theres nothing wrong with him , the drs only want money, sigh. Fortunately that was last Thursday, by Saturday he was himself again.

thank you so much for understanding.

this is a new journey for me, one that will not end well.

thank you again

CStrope

I agree with harshedbuzz. I think that with the deterioration of their brain, they can no longer control their "bad habits" and past gremlins creep up. I know with my DH, the jerk in him really came out since he did not understand how or why he should be nice. Normally I would have been able to rein him back in and tell him to check himself, but with the dementia that was no longer an option.

cel615

Sooo, any hints on coping?? Smile

cel615

Dr told me yesterday he is the the middle of the moderate stage. Gds of 5. Moderately severe cognitive decline . Any helpful hints would be greatly appreciated.