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FIL not cooperating with doctors orders

ANGIE LAUDIG
ANGIE LAUDIG Member Posts: 1 New
Good morning, my beautiful MIL has mid to advanced Ahlzheimer's my FIL is her PC caregiver. He is 87, she is 82. My FIL is very controlling and refuses to cooperate with any of the instructions her PCP, Ahlzheimer's doctor and her psychiatrist has suggested. The care that he is giving her is terrible, she rarely bathes, he takes her to get her hair washed and styled twice a month, basically just sits her on the couch in front of a tv. She weighed around 270 last year, however, today because he does not feed her properly she has lost 100 pounds. The doctor talked to him pretty firmly this last visit and told him that if she doesn't eat more he will have to prescribe a feeding tube. This man is very controlling, refuses to allow anyone to come in and help, feels like he can just tell her what to do and she will do it, he has no understanding on this disease and he refuses any outside classes or etc., My husband is her only child and we go over every day and see that she has at least one meal and a protein drink. I could go on and on.. we are at a loss and want to help but do not know what to do. The PCP gave FIL a brief competency test which he passed, we don't agree and see more mental decline but understand the PCP can only assess so much. Is anyone struggling in this area and possibly found any kind of solution? My husband and I both have full time jobs at this time.

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Member

    Welcome to the forum. Sounds like your husband needs to have power of attorney for both of them. If not, I would put a visit with a certified elder law attorney very high on your "to do" list.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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