Vent Post - CCRC Experience in NJ

DearLiz2020

Hi all,

I just need to vent. I'm the daughter of a person with dementia, helping my dad, the primary caregiver, make some tough decisions on memory care placement for my mom. Long story short, after 6-7 months of me personally researching skilled nursing faciliites, CCRCs with AL, IL and Memory Care, I finally got Dad to agree it's time for them to go into a CCRC (him independent/her in Memroy Care), and, I found (what I thought) was the best place for mom (and dad) at this point in her alzheimers/dementia diagnosis.

Well, after we agreed to make the move, this "for profit" CCRC was very, very aggressive to my Dad and I yesterday claiming that for $1K they can only hold the room for a week, admitted that mom's paperwork with her doc's may take a few weeks so we "better stay on top of the doctors" and it's our responsibility/problem. Litearlly when I sat down with them their first question was - so when can you move in? Dad and I said "um, I don't know, maybe Aug?" their rspones " Oh well we can't hold these rooms for you until Aug. That's unacceptalbe".

Literally, there was NO presentation of next steps, congratulating of us our major life decision - instead, it was all about the money and when they could move in (and get to my Dad's $$).

Thank GOD for you all on this website and FB where I have been educated in these matters. THANK GOD for my Dad for having resources/finances to not make this place our only option. Shame this place didn't know that (hehehe)....

Further, what really peturbs me is that I'm a buyer/negotiator for a major institution in the USA for a living - never in my life have I been so bullied into making a decision and hand over $$ w/o understanding 'next steps' in my life. I'm the buyer. I have the Power of the Purse. I asked the sales lady to stop -take a step back - this is a big decision for us - this is my mother - and I don't like the tone/tenor of her presentation and that I was still confused what the next steps were to PRIVATE PAY at this place, looking for their recommendations, help.

In response, I was told "Well (my name), I don't understand. I have 5 other people interested in this place and Memory Care in our area is very hard to come by."

In other words, I don't care.

Dad went on to tell her- wait a minute, we're starting a business relationship here - we're asking you to tone it down and work with us to better understand what our next steps are, responsibilites for payment, move in procedures - she couldn't respond and was only interseted in Dad's $1K Check.

She took Dad's $1K check and went ahead and edited it herself to make a comment that his $1K was only good until Jul 15th after which time, we're SOL and she'll set out the apartments from underneath us unless we get thse mountains of paperowrk (which she DIDN"T go over at all) signed by us and doctors...

I replied - OK, well, I'm rather upset by this approach and presentation. What ar eyou going to do?

She said - let me take the check..

Next I know, she left the room and went and got her MANAGER to talk to us.

At this point, I was alreayd standing up. I told the MANAGER that I didn't apprciate the tone/tenor of the presetnation today, I'm still confused about next steps and am unclear what my Dad's $1K was for...

He tried to smooth it over, and, I said yah yah, OK. We have to go. Dad followed my lead, and we walked out.

We cancelled the check and I wrote an email to this place we're not inerested.

I will NEVER put my mother in a place like that that is all about the $$.

What can I do to complain? Do I just have to move on? Should I send an email to their corporate? Is their a State Ombudsman I can complain to about bullying sales tactics?

Thank God I was there to prevent my Dad from being railroaded in to this place.

Thoughts?

Emily 123

Good for you! They sound like jerks.

Unknown

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Hope65

Hate to say it, but most ALs and CCRCs are more $ focused than people/care focused. I learned this when researching ALs for my mother. Makes me not only furious, , but also very sad. Some talk a pretty good game to hook vulnerable folks. I, like you, smell this from a mile away and proceed with caution, if at all. Good for you!