Memory Care Elopement

JDG236

My father is in Memory Care, but he's physically in great shape and higher functioning. They take dad to other non-locked floors so that he can participate in activities and eat with other non memory care residents. However, last week Dad walked out the front door and down the street and wasn't willing to go back inside until I was able to talk him into it. Since then, the facility leadership has asked me to hire an outside care giver to help watch Dad in Memory Care. I've had someone there from an agency for 3 days at $35 / hour, which isn't sustainable. They don't expect me to continue this, but they're asking me to extend it until Dad's anxiety comes back down. Is this normal, considering he'll stay on the Memory Care floor, which has locked doors?

Thoughts? Thanks in advance.

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harshedbuzz

This is really hard to say.

It's a good facility that is flexible about including those who can benefit from being included with a higher functioning social setting. This could be helpful when the current MC population skews all-female or much more impaired than he is currently. That said, his safety comes first, so unless he has someone charged with keeping him in the building, it's probably best he stays in the secure unit.

It's not unusual for MCF's to ask families to bring in more help at times-- aging in place means there's an expectation that family will provide extra coverage as needed. Usually this is in the later stages using hospice services, but sometimes families will be asked to provide something during a transition or if there's a behavior like walking without help after an injury or hospitalization. At dad's very well-run MCF, there were residents who had paid companions for various reasons-- family distance, needing 1:1 socialization, a higher level of assistance with ADLs (one woman had a helper do her hair, makeup and coordinate an outfit for her 7 days a week).

I'd look to medication to dial down the anxiety driving the elopement risk and consider seeing if he could be included as a "helper" with activities if he's more capable than others.

HB

JDG236

Thank you for your replies and help. Dad is very mobile and doesn't look like a typical Memory Care resident. He can have high level conversations on good days, so I feel bad leaving him in Memory Care without any good interaction.

The activities in Memory Care aren't for Dad; however, they were taking him to other floor for better activities - like bean bag toss, baking classes, happy hour, etc. He's already on Seroquel, but added another anxiety med. I'm hoping the care giver is short term until he settles down. Or, at least back it down so it's not all day.

Thanks again

mommyandme (m&m)

I wonder if you can find someone else for less. He’s in a facility that takes care of most of his needs. I could see $35/hr if a caregiver was doing meds, all ADLs, making meals, toileting etc… maybe you could find a nursing student or college student off of their school’s student employment site that need hours or find help off of care.com. Of course you have to do the vetting but there is plenty of oversight at a facility and probably a little guidance. Maybe you could shave off $10 or so an hour.

Just my two cents. Hope things settle down soon.

gampiano

I find this incredulous, that a facility which , i'm sure charges big money, is requiring you to pay even more for extra help. Something is wrong with this picture. Of course, the whole system of care is broken as far as I'm concerned, and unfortunately we are stuck with what we have. So painful .

Caro_Lynne

JD, I can sympathize with your frustration, particularly since your dad is high functioning. Prior to bringing my ex-partner home from the hospital, then rehab for a bleeding stroke (which caused significant damage to his front temporal lobe), I placed him in a MCF. After being there two days the nursing director informed me that he needed 24/7 aide with him because he wanders, is a fall risk and cannot be left alone. For two weeks he had 24/7 aide @ $35/hour! At this point in time he could not feed himself and needed a walker. I was always there for lunch and dinner to feed him, but still had to pay for the aide to watch me feed him!

After visiting everyday and observing other residents, I spoke with the nursing director and asked her why do the other residents I see wandering all the time and are far worse than my partner, not have a 24/7 aide? Many of them could not feed themselves either and there would be in-house staff to assist them, not a paid aide. She suggested we cut back the hours of the aide to just overnight. So I was paying for someone to sit in his room with him to watch him sleep while she watched TV. I just wanted the best care for him.

Looking back, I believe in my case since they knew he was there temporarily (they billed as respite care) I was overcharged. At the same time, my mom was in the hospital with a viral infection that almost took her from me; I thank God he didn't, but I was running from the hospital to MCF and it was just easier to write a check.

He's been home for almost a year and I am his caregiver 24/7; he has no family (his only brother has ALZ) and I will keep him in our home until I can't. You are doing the best you can and what you think is best for you and your dad. I don't see why you are being asked to pay for a private aide but understand why you do.

As gampiano said, the whole system is broken! IMO it's all about profit.

JDG236

All - thanks for your help. It sounds like we're going to taper the length of visits, and then stop altogether. It's funny because they seem to want someone with him whenever he's awake, so they try to put an employee with him when the care taker / agency employee isn't there. I guess he's a handful and they don't want him trying to crack the code to get out. I'm assuming having the same resident getting out twice is a real problem when it comes to reporting to the state.