Newly diagnosed Dementia

becgaroutte

Hello I'm new this is my first post.
I'm 55 and was just diagnosed last week with dementia. It's caused from epilepsy, that I've had all my life, and a temporal lobectomy surgery.
The main issues I'm having so far are my medications, falling, and memory of course..lol
My husband is someone that just doesn't show his feelings. I feel like he doesn't even understand this. I'm needing help with things and he still thinks I'm just able to do everything. It's causing me to become very angry, but I'm just holding it in. I cry when I'm by myself just to let it out.
Any advice on what to do?

BadMoonRising

I am a strong believer that everyone needs a good friend, other than a spouse or child, with whom they can comfortably share their darkest moments. Of course, I realize that many married persons do not have a best friend, other than their spouse. That said, holding it all in and crying when you are alone does not help your husband understand your frustration and fears. (Out of sight, out of mind and all that.) You may want to consider counseling, at least for you, and couple's counseling, if your husband would be amenable. Unlike you, your husband may be in denial and I don't know who, other than a counselor or a buddy of his, can help him deal with this new reality.

esgeron

Counseling will definitely help.If your husband joins in the counseling, it will be great. Good to sit with him & negotiate.Take care.🙏🙏

Iris L.

I too felt alone, and gradually realized that I was alone!. My two closest friends abandoned me when I first began to realize how bad my memory loss was. Note that I never asked them for any help, I was just describing to them what was happening to me. I realized I would have to take care of myself. I learned from the other members of these boards. I learned quite a lot.

I had attempted working with counselors and a psychologist who promoted themselves as working specifically with older adults with medical issues. I found them to have an inadequate conception of what I was dealing with. Thus, I cannot recommend working with a counselor. Instead I warn patients to be cautious, to seek out someone who understands living with dementia. And not to be too discouraged. The way you find a potentially suitable worker is to come to an agreement as to your goals of the counseling or therapy. What do YOU want to get out of this?

You might also seek out a Memory Club, which is a support group for persons with memory loss. Some are for patients only, some are for the PWD and a caregiver. You can call your local Alzheimer's Association chapter and ask about an Early Stage Support Group.

Each chapter has available a Care Counselor who can provide information about local resources and who can also provide some personal counseling. Call the Helpline at 800-272-3900 and ask to speak with a Care Counselor. One is available 24 hours a day and there is no charge for this service.

Iris

Mimi50

Iris, You are great source of information. I am very sorry that your friends abandoned you. They obviously were not very good friends. Usually I stay in the caregiver side of the discussions. How many of you are going through dementia. Without the people that are supposed to love and care for you. Makes me very angry. My husband at least has me.

GWB