Is it safe to leave LO alone??

Martin55

My DW was diagnosed 4 years ago with vascular dementia. This past year other symptoms have developed, hand tremors, hallucinations, RSBD, and her neurologist has added possible Lewy Body dementia to the mix. Although her cognitive ability is declining, she is very upbeat and has retained her wonderful sense of humor. She is very cooperative and welcomes assistance with things she can no longer do by herself. She can keep up with most ADL with some help and prompts. She does not wander or leave the house alone. But she did have a fall last week on our daily outdoor walk. Maybe she just stumbled but she was unable to get up by herself. That got me thinking, is she safe to be alone even for short periods of time?? I have shortened the time for errands etc. to no more than 30 min. She has some incontinence so she does not like to get too far from a restroom so she seldom is willing to go with me. How do you decide when she needs constant care??

ghphotog

I can't leave my DW alone anymore, not so much that she will wander off but she genuinely freaks out when she's alone. She will look all over for me and cry like a five year old looking for her daddy. She will be terrified. Sure she could fall or not be able to find the bathroom, I have to show her where it is all day, but she would be terrified.

M1

Hi Martin and welcome to the forum. There's kind of a saying here, if you are considering that it's time not to leave her alone, then you're already there. Ditto for considering memory care or stopping driving. There's no perfect or obvious time, but if the question is coming up, then you're there.

This is a very hard one, it happens to all of us at some point. It does complicate life; either you have to find someone to come stay with her, have things delivered, and/or curtail all errands that you possibly can. But you are correct in considering it: even 30 minutes on the floor can seem like a lifetime if you're down and can't get up.

Glad she's cooperative and has a sense of humor--my partner is not so cooperative, but does have a sense of humor, which definitely helps. She also has retained some empathy, which is nice.

ImMaggieMae

Hi Martin. Welcome to the forum. With the diagnosis and symptoms you described, I don’t think it’s safe to leave her alone anymore. Even though she is usually in good spirits and cooperative, there are just too many ways that she could hurt herself. Trying to use the stove and forgetting that it’s turned on with something on the burners, injuring herself with kitchen utensils, getting taken in by phone scammers if she answers the phone, grabbing for something heavy if she feels she’s going to fall and pulling it over on herself, dropping a dish or a glass that breaks and trying to clean up the broken glass. That could be a danger to a pet running around too. And there’s also the first time for behaviors like leaving the house and wandering. I understand how difficult it can be. I haven’t been able to leave my husband alone for about 2 years.

Ed1937

That's a question we all have to face at some time or another. It's hard, especially if you only need to get a loaf of bread or something. I know I took quick runs to the store where I would be gone for maybe 15 minutes or so when I was facing that decision. But then she got to the point where she was having problems with falling. Then I just stayed with her until I could get someone to be with her, always one of our kids.

But I agree with the other posters. If you are asking that question, it's probably time not to leave her alone, although you have to be the final say on that.