Returning to share information

Sailor girl

Hello all,

I was in this group several years ago as I was going through the struggles as caregiver to my DH. This was great platform to vent, cry, laugh and gather insight with those going on a similar path of caregiving full time.

My husband passed in 2019. I want to share information with the partners or spouses in the early stages. From my experience, I was in denial that he was going to get worse. Being with him 24/7 doesn't give one enough perspective and distance to really see the decline.

I read great advice on this forum to get help sooner than you ever would think you need it. Whether it's asking friends or family to hang out with your person for a short time so you can take a break or hiring a care person for a longer amount of time.

I nearly waited too long. I happened to hire two lovely women from Fiji. They enhanced and completely changed our lives for the better. The Fijian culture instills in young people to naturally care for and respect their elders.

My story is way too long to post here, but if it helps anyone, I wrote a book that hopefully will help inspire and entertain a bit. I know what you're thinking "I'm a full time caregiver, who has time to read a book!"

To all of you, my heart is with you. I am forever changed from the challenges we had, and hopefully for the better, and I would like to pass some wisdom (and some humor) forward.

If you do find some time, the title is "I'm the Captain Now" and I'm Lynn Ringseis

Iris L.

Welcome back, Lynn. Your book sounds fascinating. Can you also post on the "Books about Alzheimer's" thread on the General Caregiving board?

Iris

Jgirl57

Thank you Sailor girl. When my HWD was first diagnosed , the Dr. said to him, let your wife be the captain of the ship now . I will look for your book

Sailor girl

Thank you Iris, I did post on "Books about Alzheimer's"

And Jgirl157 that is so interesting the metaphor that the Doctor mention to your loved one. All of us have to become the Captain of our ship of care, whether we want to or not. It is strangely empowering once you put yourself in that position. When your loved one becomes incapable of making decisions, that is when the "ship" needs a Captain. We were (I am still) both sailors for pure pleasure and also for our career and business, so speaking in nautical terms seems natural for me, but the analogy is similar for all of us.