Just need to get others ideas.

RayKarla

I am the sole caregiver to my husband who is only 67 and in late stage of Alzheimer’s . I so want to keep him at home, but I am so tired. He has started wetting anywhere and doing #2 standing up anywhere too. If I don't follow him everywhere he just goes. He starts pacing about 10am and it goes on for hours. Digging, moving things and gets very irritated because I can not understand his gibberish (just saying yes, I am not sure, etc doesn't work anymore.) I tried putting depends on him but those don't work because he's not wetting in his pants, he just does it everywhere except the bathroom.

The doctor put him on trazodone and even upped the doze because it wasn't helping with the pacing etc. Still not helping at all. He doesn't have trouble sleeping at night. Probably cause he doesn't sit for more than a few minutes all day and evening! I can't take him out for walks because he doesn't walk too good, shuffles his feet, hunches over and drops his right shoulder. I am afraid he will fall.

Guess, I am just needing some advice to be able to handle this?

Thanks! Karla

marier

I am not sure I really have any helpful suggestions other than having a discussion with his Dr regarding medication management. Or if your husband is treating with family Dr consider treating with a specialist such as geriatric psychiatrist or other dementia specialist.

MP8

I'm sure others with more experience with more advanced stages will share their wisdom, but I found the Alzheimer helpline (800.272.3900) very supportive. Just talking to the person who answered the phone and then to the social worker made me calmer - and I was really desperate; they also had great practical advice to help with my mother. They are available 24/7.

Hang in there!

harshedbuzz

@RayKarla

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here, but happy you found this place.

It sounds like your husband's medication isn't working well for him. I agree with @marier that adding a geripsych to his team might yield better results. It might not, too, pacing is a difficult behavior to redirect in some PWD.

Ideally a toileting schedule every 2 hours and scheduling a potty break 20 minutes after eating can help avoid this. If he's removing clothing to soil in inappropriate places, then onesie undergarments or clothing can keep him from undressing but he might still urinate or defecate so you probably want to close off rooms you don't want him in and protect soft furnishing with covers now.

Back-Zip Jumpsuits - Jumpsuits - Men's Clothing Adaptive Clothing for Seniors, Disabled & Elderly Care (buckandbuck.com)

HB

jfkoc

fHi Ray.....

The only thing I can add to the above is to protect everything. Order pads for the furniture and a 6 sided waterproof mattress cover.

This has to be overwhelming so please know that we are here 24/7 to listen, throw out some ideas and to share a shoulder to lean on.

Judith

mommyandme (m&m)

I wonder if a portable commode might help. Does he use a walker? My LO could use a walker but I got a wheelchair so we could go on walks outside. I had to get us out of the house and get some exercise, for my own sake. Can you hire in some respite care help so you can get away and/or take him to an adult daycare for a day or more during the week? You need rest and time to recoup. Your life is important too. If you become so exhausted that you can’t care for him, where will you both be? Do you think if someday he becomes bedbound you’ll be able to take care of his hygiene? Even if so, you might want to start looking at facilities just in case.

please consider getting help in as often as possible. That’s the only way I was able to keep my mom at home. You must take care of you first.

Emily 123

Hi Karla,

Can you have an aide come in to either assist you with him, or can you hire in help to do some of the chores you usually do? You must feel like you're chained to your washer and dryer. I'm so sorry.

gampiano

This is such a terrible burden for you. My husband has had episodes like this and i' ve just purchased some door hardware with key sets to keep him out of spare rooms, and the basement, where he was making "deposits". While i'm waiting for someone to come and install these things, we have barricades of all sorts in front of the doors, some times with a dog gate in the front of the closed door. At least i can hear him if he's trying to break in. Recently when we've ventured out for a few errands, he's been getting out of the car and just urinating wherever we are. This is so stressful and I want to leave him home but am afraid to. But.... maybe Ill buy a zip up the back jumpsuit to prevent this from happening.

I didn't know about the zip in the back clothing. I might try that, as eventually id rather have him in a sturdy diaper , the clean up is more controllable. If you can confine his activity to one section of the house, and make it as sparse as possible, the management is a little easier. Also use disposable seat pads like CHUX.(sp?). The commode could also help.

To get the urine odor out of laundry, I use a great product , available from amazon. Its pricey, but you only need a small amount added to a wash load with your regular detergent. Its called Zero Odor, laundry odor eliminator. Today i decided to become a subscriber and get it every 2 months.

For feces, ugh, after you've cleaned up, shaving cream on appliances and toilet really helps with odor. Ditto if you are washing his hands, i used this yesterday after realizing that the odors had penetrated his skin, and soap wasn't enough.

Hopefully the doctors will find a medication that will calm him down. In the mean time, can you afford to have someone come in during the day, even if its only once a week? I have respite only 2 sundays out of the month for 6 hour shifts, and it really helps me to de compress.

Sending hopeful thoughts of strength your way, we all need it,

Maureen

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RayKarla

Thank you all for your suggestions and advice! I did hire someone to come in twice a week in the afternoon for 4 hours. She's been here twice now and those 4 hours on that day is so nice!!!! Even if I don't do anything but just get out of the house it is helpful for my state of mind.

The medicine isn't working at all. Last two days he wakes up at 6:30 am and starts his pacing and doesn't stop! Last night couldn't get him to lay down for bed until 11:30pm. I have a call in to our primary care doctor but last time she just put a referral in to a neurologist. I explained to her we use to go to a neurologist but last time we went he said there was nothing else he could do! I am trying to find a geripsych that some of you suggested.

Thank you all again! I am so glad my daughter told me about this site!

Iris L.

The field of medical practice is so compartmentalized now. It's true, neurologists essentially do diagnosis, treatment comes from geriatric psychiatrists or geriatricians.

Iris