Delusions

ErikaK

We had just finished dinner and were starting to watch our weekly Sunday night comedy movie, when Dad suddenly said he'd been a pervert and touched little girls and his daughters. He didn't do this, but it made him so agitated when we said he didn't, and it also made my husband pretty upset - to where he had to step out of the house for a bit. He believes me that it didn't happen but for a moment he wanted to harm my dad. I know that delusional thoughts can be common in the mid/late stages, but what if he says something like this to one of our respite caregivers or something? I have a message in to the primary care doc but he's a virtual doc and we are out of town. With the holiday I'm not sure what to do but maybe cut our trip short and take him to the ER.

solerdr

Sorry you are having to go through this experience.

I recommend going to a neurologist who specializes in dementia/ALZ's. PCPs are not specialist.

Instead of arguing with your father and trying to convince him, simply say "okay dad" and leave it at that...arguing or contradicting your father is not helping and only agitates him more.

We had to invoke "therapeutic lying" with my father, and often my father would tell me stories about his life that were actually events that occurred in my life. Additionally, he may be reciting something he heard on television from a long time ago, yesterday, last week, etc. Please let your husband know that sometimes folks with this terrible disease are simply reciting something they've heard or seen and it MAY not necessarily be reality. They are not in control of their brains anymore.

May God's light guide your day and His spirit bring you peace.

Damion

harshedbuzz

Yikes!

I am so sorry. I wish I could say I am unfamiliar with this line of discussion, but I am not. It happens. My dad went through a phase where he bragged about opportunities to deflower his students in the late and middle stages. Evidently, they were throwing themselves at him. I don't think this is true; he taught at the high school I attended and were he plowing through my classmates I would have heard, I'm sure. Things like this get around-- I knew about most all of the faculty shenanigans from my friends.

I think what happened, aside from dad believing himself to be very desirable, was that this is a conflated memory-- a confabulation. It's when something happened but the PWD is hazy on the details surrounding the event. There was a young gym teacher at the school who dated a student during the time dad was at the school; they married not long after graduation and are still together. I think dad confused that story and inserted himself as protagonist. He also accused me of all manner of transgressions committed by my late sister. She was hell-on-wheels; I was a pretty well behaved and discrete kid, so this felt really unfair until I understood it. I spent a lot of time assuring my son that I had never left him at a bar when he was little to go off with some random dude to have sex.

FTR, he also did this with television shows. For a time, he thought he was Tom Selleck on Bluebloods. Fortunately, Selleck behaved himself. Then he moved on to absorbing the plots of mom's crime dramas and tell me all about being kidnapped and murdered the night before. It was odd-- he couldn't recall what he'd had for lunch but could tell me all about being thrown in the back of a trunk and killed. I would take a hard look at what he's watching on TV. I had to put parental controls on dad's TV-- not just the crime show channels, but also news and weather which were triggering.

Are you all away from home? Travel and a change of surroundings and routine can bring out new behaviors in PWD. If you've taken him to the vacation house, that could be your trigger.

IMO, especially with this being early July/the very start of new residents in hospitals, this is not an emergency however distressing you find it unless you suspect it to be the result of a silent UTI. I would ask the PCP about getting dad in to see a geriatric psychiatrist asap for medication management to see if that helps.

HB

M1

I agree with HB, on several fronts: the travel away from familiar surroundings (and maybe being with more relatives than usual?) may be a trigger for this; think hard about what television shows (if any) you have on, too. And third, agree ENTIRELY that the first week of July is not a time to go to the ER unless it's life and death.

ErikaK

We are going to head back home tomorrow and try to reset. PCP suggested dehydration as a trigger too. We do have a neurology provider but the hospital department closed and they have gone to another practice, so waiting on an updated referral. Keeping an eye on it, thanks foe the comments on your experiences

M1

Let us know what happens.

The hard part may be that if sexual stuff has started to come up, it probably will again, so be prepared. That's where medications could definitely help to tamp it down. Can be very problematic both for family and for caregivers, as you've already anticipated, and could hamper placement if he needs it down the line.

ErikaK

We did end up taking him to the ER because of some inability to focus and some stumbling but they gave him a clean bill of health after testing and CT scan. We are in line for a new neurology referral since the previous providers all joined a new private practice that doesn't appear to take his medicare plan.

We just started experiencing more bathroom accidents as well so just added Depends to the mix.

I'm trying to disconnect myself and be very clinical but I think it might be time for additional help, looking at a memory care facility soon that will take medicaid once his funds have run out.