Advice for physical set up of home as disease progresses

Denise1847

My DH is stage 6, and I can see the day approaching when we will have to make changes to our home for him. We have a 2 story cottage with a first-floor full bath and office. We have a full set of stairs to the second floor with a walk-in shower on level 2. We have 4 steps from our outside porch to the side walk. He weighs 220 and is 6 foot 3 inches. I am 5 foot 5 inches with a failed back surgery. He is 73 and I am 72.

I am thinking that I could put a bed in our first-floor living room for DH and I could sleep in our office on that floor. I could have the first-floor tub converted to a walk-in shower. I thought that would be better than installing a stair lift because eventually it will be more difficult to get him on the lift etc. I have no clue about the 4 steps going out of the house.

I would greatly appreciate advice and a reality check as to whether this arrangement is doable.

Thank you.

harshedbuzz

That sounds sensible in terms of sleeping space.

In remodeling a first floor bath, look for a wet-room or roll in shower big enough for a chair and assistant. Consider a bidet for the toilet.

A ramp may be needed for you to help DH in and out, but in the very late stages many PWD have hospice come to them. Medical transport would be an alternative to adding a ramp. An ADA ramp is 1:12; assuming each step is 7" (6-8" is typical), that's a 48' long ramp. There are portable ramps you can buy but they can get expensive, heavy and will have a steeper incline in your situation.

HB

Ed1937

Hi Denise. The ramps for wheelchair use work very well for getting into and out of the home. Depending on your needs, many communities have volunteers who might build a ramp for you at little or no cost.

I think your plan for the first floor is doable. While a large shower is typically better than a smaller one, you might be surprised to find that a small shower is adequate. My son, who has a home remodeling business, removed our bathtub, and built a shower in it's place. It was actually big enough for my wife and I to get into when needed, and that became the norm. If you need help designing a shower, ask for suggestions. You will get plenty of answers.

Jeanne C.

If looking for volunteers to build a ramp, you may want to contact your local boyscout troop. My nephews have done similar projects for merit badges.

Denise1847

Thank you all for your ideas. I truly appreciate them.

Crushed

I rebuilt out house for first floor living stairs are a NIGHTMARE in dementia

Denise1847

Hi Crushed,

Thanks. I would think stairs will be an issue but it will be difficult to get my DH to accept living on the first floor only because he is very proud, in denial and very set in his ways. I will push on and do what I have to do. You know the drill all too well.

gampiano

Hi Denise,

Right now my DH can still climb the stairs , but his walking is very slow. Somehow he musters up the strength to do the climb, but who knows when that will change?

I have changed and re arranged things on the first floor, so that when he comes down in the morning, we do coffee , etc, and prepare for the day all in the same location. we both have toothbrushes and paste in the kitchen cabinet, and he and i brush together. Then, i keep a few changes of clothing in a basket downstairs, and this is where he gets dressed. Shaving , when we do it, also takes place in the kitchen .It is so much easier this way, and more manageable. Also. i have shampoo caps which i purchased from Amazon, and they are a blessing, believe me. I can clean his hair and scalp without showering, no rinse and no mess. Hope these ideas are helpful.

Maureen

Jeff86

Denise — your issue is mine. 15 steps from the first floor to the second. DW s in late stage 6. Sometimes handles the stairs reasonably well, at other times is fearful of them or has difficulty remembering how to walk up or downs stairs. The day is coming when she will not be able to negotiate them.

I looked into having a stairlift installed , but I believe DW would be frightened by it and refuse to ride it.

I’m fully prepared to turn the first floor dining room into a bedroom. But there is only a small powder room on the first floor, and building a first floor full bath with a walk in shower isn’t feasible. Sponge baths are a less than ideal solution, given DW’s incontinence.

Then again, AD is less than ideal….

Denise1847

Thank you everyone. I was trying to decide between putting in a stair climber chair as opposed to putting in a walk in shower (we have one upstairs). It sounds like the shower on the first floor is a better way to go.

RickM

After trying to help my mom and later my dad through dementia land I decided that the steps that my wife and I had to use to get to our house would be an indicator: when we can't get up the steps it's time to move to assisted living/memory care. I beat the indicator, but just barely, as I found last weekend when I brought my DW back to the house for a celebration of our son's engagement and I had to mostly cary her down the steps.

My dad, who took care of his wife with dementia, eventually turned his dining room into a bedroom and installed a shower on the first floor. So you can do it. But I'm now finding that even one step is a challenge.

Iris L.

At an Expo for people with disabilities there was a demonstration of a portable shower that could be set up next to the bed, separate from the house bathroom.

Iris

Denise1847

Thank you Rick and Iris. I was hoping for the less expensive option of putting in a stair climber, but you both have convinced me to stay on the first floor and install the shower there.