Muttering

Drapper

My DH has been muttering under his breath. Sometimes it’s things like .., I don’t want to be here , I hate you. Recently he said I want to kill her.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop the muttering. I think he knows he is doing it. He is starting to do it around other people , like my daughter and her family. It is causing issues.

Lgb35

I think you need to contact DH doctor. He might need medication. We have not experienced this but those are alarming comments.

prayers for you❤️🙏🏼

Ed1937

I agree with contacting the doctor. This likely has to do with the way his mind is working, and if he said "I want to kill her", that would be a major concern to me. There are probably medications to steer thoughts like this away from his brain. It may be nothing, but you don't want to chance it. See the doc ASAP.

ButterflyWings

Dementias come with delusions and hallucinations very often. The thing is, it is not the same as muttering or talking to himself necessarily. He may be having a conversation with someone that you can't see or hear, which is very real to him. He may be stuck in a scene he saw or heard on TV. Or he may indeed be referring to you.

Family is going to need to learn about dementia. This is nothing compared to what may lie ahead. I don't say that to frighten you, only to indicate the importance of learning everything possible about how to change how you communicate with and live with a PWD who can no longer be left to his own devices.

As for the very alarming statements. I agree. Talk with his neuro psych Dr. like yesterday. If he does not have one, please add that to your medical team quickly. There are safe meds that many of us can tell you were the only thing that helped our LOs delusions, hallucinations, and other behaviors -- which is their main way of communicating that something is changing that needs you to address it in dementia-treatment-appropriate ways.

Your safety may be at risk and he can't help it. Have you all any guns or other things that could be used as weapons? Get rid of them. I spent a ton of time dementia-proofing our home, not just for his physical safety, but for mine. I woke up one night overhearing DH talking sofly to the armoire about me, and when he got to the part about "so you killed her?' you probably could have heard my heart beating out of my chest it was so bizarre but also scary crazy real. I gently but quickly rolled out of bed and was on speed dial with his Dr. as soon as the sun came up. It was more than year after that before I felt totally safe sleeping in the same room with him again, maybe longer. And even then, I often was in the recliner, close enough to the door to know that I could outrun him if needed. By then though, the med routine was much better established, and behaviors pretty stable -- except when something unexpected pops up which it periodically did (still does).

Lorita

Hi Drapper, Get rid of not only the guns but anything that "might" be used as a weapon. That includes scissors, knives, anything with a sharp point. This may not be anything to worry about but just be cautious. My husband was a gentle person - wouldn't hurt anyone but one night I was sitting in my chair with a high back and felt something around my neck. He had walked up behind me and put a belt around my neck. I laughingly said "are you going to choke me" and he said "yes". I was out of that chair in a split second getting the belt away from him. You never know what might be in their minds so just be watchful. As they always said you need to keep your cellphone charged and have a way to escape if the need ever arose. In their right thinking, they'd never think about harming us - but, they aren't thinking right. Your overhearing his conversation might be a Godsend. Be watchful. Medications may help so do contact his doctor.

Drapper

I have an appt with his neurologist this week and will discuss. We have no guns in house. The going to kill her comment was a one time incident. Usually muttering is around not wanting to be here. Not wanting to do something. But I get what you are all saying here. Although I have never been concerned about violence, I understand it can happen all of the sudden Lorita, your story is very frightening and eye opening

This incident happened right after he was in hospital for UTI and stayed one night They gave him haldol while there to quiet him down I’m hoping the very negative muttering was related to that

i have been in process of exploring medications for anxiety and stress behaviors with dr Not there yet, obviously UTI was big setback If any of you had meds that helped please let me know We have tried Xanax Ativan, no help

klonopin low dose seems to be helping a lot with sleep and daytime stress. The anxiety he feels without it is very high.

SSRIs seemed to make him worst dr says it’s trial and error

thank you all for your comments and suggestions

ButterflyWings

Our Dr. helped me know the UTIs don't clear immediately. So even once he finishes his antibiotic protocol, it could still be a week or so more, to get back to baseline. And if possible to get a lab done now, to be sure the antibiotic was effective. We had to switch to cephalexin as Bactrin was doing nothing.

The other thing in our situation was that he had another med that was prescribed at the time of his first two UTIs, to help with a chronic respiratory condition that is triggered by any infection or virus. He was given prednisone routinely for the occasional respiratory exacerbation. I learned during mid stages that prednisone sends DH totally off the rails, which was not the case pre-dementia. But it was SO bad, outrageous, and outright dangerous to us both -- the things prednisone made him do -- I will never, ever, ever give it to him again.

But as I have said before, Seroquel or quetiapine for us, was a magic pill. The dosage had to be tweaked in the beginning to get it right. Amount and timing. And we have titrated it up over the years, but what a difference it makes. Just takes the edge off and seems to help uncross his brain signals enough to keep him on track. I hope you find things settle down soon and that the Dr can help with a med protocol that helps you both.

Drapper

The dr originally gave him bactrin and hospital switched it to cephalexin too. Labs from hospital showed it cleared But they still want him on 7 days of it.

he is so groggy. Almost zombi like. I feel like haldol could still be in his system. maybe it’s still the uti impact

Prednisone is a strong drug. That had to be horrible.

a physiatrist had him on seroquel for s short time and then when I switched to new neurologist she wanted yo try other things first. He was on 50 extended release seroquel and it did seem to make him too tired. So she went to Zoloft and klonopin. Now just on klonopin.

he has been a mess past few days. Just not himself at all. thanks for your support. I hope he gets back to his baseline.

I’ve called dr for earlier appt. Our spot is Thursday. No one called back. They are all so backed up. (The Calvary is not coming )

Ed1937

For those people who have recurring UTIs, I used TheraCran One capsules for my wife, and I saw a dramatic difference in how often she got UTIs. Here's a link for the product at Walmart. Don't buy from Amazon. For some reason it is way overpriced there now. https://www.walmart.com/ip/TheraCran-One-Cranberry-Supplement-36mg-PACs-Per-Capsule-90-Day-Supply/346686711 She was getting UTIs about every three months or so until I put her on the capsules. It worked well for us. I hope it does for you too.

Drapper

This was his first UTI. I may use precautionary. Don’t want to go through this again. Thank you.