What am I missing ?

JC5

Scenario today…

Me: Going to grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner tomorrow with the grandchildren. Also asked DH what would you like for dinner tonight!

DH : Could you get some fish maybe flounder.

Me: Sure I’ll do that. so get flounder bring it home go to see my cousin. Come home a bit later DH not home but left a note saying he “caught” some crab cakes and swordfish! It’s in the fridge!

so now we have 2 huge pieces of Icelandic flounder, 2 crab cakes and a huge ($42 ) piece of swordfish!!! So tonight’s “catch” was $ 105 🤦🏻‍♀️

Think I need not to ask and just do! Oh my! Anyone want to come for a fish buffet?

ImMaggieMae

Wonder what kind of bait he used to “catch” the crab cakes? 😁 Well, at least you can freeze some of that fish.

Ed1937

Absolutely freeze it. Just in case you can't do that, what time is dinner?

harshedbuzz

Yikes!

This shows not only poor short-term memory on his part, but poor judgement and executive function. If he's still driving, maybe you need to address that.

HB

toolbeltexpert

Flounder is one of my favorites. Have a great meal or maybe 2 or 3. As I was reading your post I thought you were going to say he didn't want fish. That was always my dilemma. I would order for dw in restaurant and then it would come and she would say that's not what she wanted, my meal was often what she wanted so I would just swap them.

tgeno

Make use of your freezer. Looks like several meals ahead. Maybe you can take him with you next time you go shopping so he can show you how he "catches" seafood.

eaglemom

Sounds like fish for dinner for several nights. Flounder is one of my favorites, just sayin!!

Maybe instead of asking "what" would you like for dinner, you could say "I think flounder sounds good for dinner tonight." How would he respond to that? That way you've made the decision, he just has to agree with you.

eagle

Denise1847

We are all learning to keep a sense of humor about this stuff. Emjoy your fish dinner.

M1

I remember when my partner was still driving and went to Lowe's to pick up some construction supplies for someone who was coming to do some work. She was gone a long time, and came home with about twenty plants from the garden center. Completely forgot about getting the supplies she went for.

That was my clue that it was time she didn't try to shop alone. That's probably the underlying message here--like HB said. That's what you are missing, sadly. Transitioning to a new stage, and more responsibility falling on you.

bobbyb

My DH no longer has preferences, but I can't get out of the habit of asking what he wants; to eat, to do, to watch etc. It feels like I'm being considerate, but I think it just reminds us both he can no longer think of what he wants. I'm going to stop asking.

SDianeL

I stopped asking what my DH wants for dinner. If I forget and ask him, he screams at me "I'm not hungry" So I just make something and put it in front of him and he eats it. But... now he no longer likes pizza, eggs, bacon, sausage, chicken, lettuce, toast, oatmeal and we no longer go out to dinner because he can't read & understand the menu or decide what he wants to eat. We're down to 2 things for breakfast: cereal with banana and waffles. When he eats breakfast he shakes his head left to right like he's saying "no, no, no" ...

Outdoors

DH has some of the same behaviors. Last week he went to the store to pick up the blueberries we had ordered. He got there 14 miles away after he had stopped and talked to his neighbor friend. Realized he had not brought his wallet so had to drive home and get it. I was at a physical therapy appointment so was not able to go with him and remind him as we leave the house of needing his keys and his wallet and his cell phone. Often we get someplace and he forgets his wallet so I pay and most of the time I shop with him. He had a stroke 13 years ago and is very stubborn so will not go and get tested for his short term memory and poor judgement issues. I can never disagree with him but have learned to offer suggestions from one of our children, whom he trusts more than me. He has a lot of anger outbursts if I don't cook something exactly how he wants it. He is never able to verbalize what he wants ahead of time unless I ask. It seems like we play the game a lot just to keep him happy especially when afternoon comes around.

jfkoc

You are not missing anything.... your sense of humor is still intact...lol