Truer words were never spoken

ButterflyWings

Like many of you, we are living with aphasia, which is the communication loss aspect of dementia. I am hoping the infographic 7As chart linked below will work, as it was helpful for me in earlier stages to learn so much that I did not know before we started living it.

So, my really brilliant public speaker (all his life until Alz), is uttering very few words now though he is more verbal than many at this late stage, per his med team. And, it is unpredictable (isn't everything about dementia?) meaning, every day and sometimes every hour is different. From made up words, to some of the familiar ones from "the old days" (always makes me smile after I get over the surprise at his former sophisticated vocabulary making a random pop call), one minute he may not comprehend what I am saying at all, then may give a response that is perfectly clear and appropriate for the conversation, followed by something that is so totally off I have no idea what he is trying to convey.

You can almost see him struggling with word retrieval at times, and I do a lot of agreeing with my beloved without having a clue what we are talking about. Then, he will read something out loud perfectly (a headline or very short sentence, not a paragraph anymore) and for a moment I can actually forget he is not the same man who was sought after for his sharp analysis and clear articulation of complex ideas.

It is heart-wrenchingly sad, but I try to find the gems in our current reality, and the humor in our nonsense conversations. At least he is still speaking to me...when he can!

Today's gem of a convo (As I was chatting to distract him during blue glove duty in the john):

Me: (making sure he wasn't about to pass out as sometimes happens with no warning)

'You OK?'

DH: Huh?

Me: Are you OK?

DH: I don't know. I'm not here!

Sometimes we laugh (I didn't start our mutual chuckling that time as I was processing my involuntary silent response of "you can say that again!") I don't know what he meant, but no truer words were ever spoken. My DH is no longer here. But I gotta hand it to him for trying!

https://www.elizz.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/The-Seven-As-of-Dementia-Infographic-863x1536.jpg

And

Compassionate Care Strategies Using the 7 ‘A’s of Dementia - VHA Home HealthCare

M1

BW, I'm SOOO glad you're back......I'm aware of how much I've missed your input. You remain an amazing caregiver. This is sweet and funny--those moments keep us going. I'm glad you've got hospice on board.

GothicGremlin

I've encountered a lot of similar things with Peggy. And yeah, it's all so random, yet so .... not. Peggy's got the FTD behaviors as well, and I think that's where things like this crop up:

Peggy: Who does this belong to? (showing me her arm)

Me: Do you mean your arm?

Peggy: (in a very soft voice) Yeah

Me: (in my cheery Peggy voice) It belongs to you

Peggy: (smiles) Okay. I was just checking.

Good thing we got that all sorted out, I say only in my head. 🙂

ButterflyWings

M1 - awww! Glad to be back I missed you all SO much, too.

GG - that's a good one. We really do have to laugh sometimes, though never at our LOs.

CorrieG

Thanks for the chuckle, I so appreciate both of your abilities to find and share the humor! It’s only been in the last month or so my hubby has started struggling with aphasia and our conversations have become more and more circular. It really is heartbreaking but we are on the same wavelength enough that I can usually infer his thoughts.