Looking for my deceased father

lps7965

In the past week, my mother has been looking and waiting for my father to come and get her. He has been deceased for 27 years. She seems to think he has a girlfriend and doesn't want her anymore. I have been trying to assure her that he doesn't and that he has been working out of town. She is so distraught and I am having difficulty comforting her about this. I am looking for any suggestions. I can't tell her that he is dead, I think that would be the worse thing to do.

M1

Hi lps, welcome to the forum. I know that saying your father is dead might seem like the wrong thing to do, but something similar comes up frequently with my partner--she forgets that her sister and parents have died--and she doesn't mind when I remind her. So you might try it, it might reorient her for a minute--but it will recur, for sure. Your idea about his being "out of town" is fine, or you might say he'll be here as soon as he can, anything--again, it won't stick.

The suspicions of infidelity are also very common, I get accused of it a lot as have others here. It apparently makes more sense to the dementia brain because the person with dementia doesn't realize its own deficits (anosognosia). No reasoning with it, I just try to divert the conversation.