Music for memory care

GothicGremlin

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend and she and I went through all of Peggy's vinyl. She has close to 200 45s, and probably that many vinyl albums. We did this so that I can move Peggy's favorites from vinyl to CDs. That way she can hear some of her old favorites in memory care.

Music has been almost the only way we can stop her agitation and angry outbursts. So having maybe a dozen CDs to choose from (the choice aspect is mostly for sanity of the staff) seems like a good thing.

She has the most by Ambrosia, The Motels, Van Halen, Miami Sound Machine, Madonna, Steely Dan, old Genesis, Fleetwood Mac, Sheena Easton, and the Police.

I know these bands are not obscure, but several of them are obscure to me. The Motels and Miami Sound Machine are the most obscure, but as I'm recalling them, I think they would work for memory care. When I think of Miami Sound Machine, I remember that it sounded happy. The Motels were a lot softer (at least in my head).

Does anyone know the hits from The Motels and Miami Sound Machine? Or know where I can look to find them? I've been to wikipedia so I now know a few of them, but I'm sure it's not complete.

Note: Van Halen is not going to memory care. 🙂 I'm thinking of making a 1970s 45 compilation CD, and an '80s compilation CD with her 45s collection.

SusanB-dil

Hi GothicG - The Motels greatest were: "Suddenly Last Summer", "Only the Lonely" and "Suddenly Last Summer" and Miami Sound Machine was mostly Gloria Estefan. "Words Get In The Way" was big, as was "Conga". "Hot Summer Nights" was in the movie 'Top Gun'.

I get most of my music now from Amazon. A lot of my 'oldies' are fairly cheap. Not sure about '80s. But you can buy individual songs or whole albums.

Iris L.

Does she like Motown? There are lots of snappy tunes there!

Iris

Ed1937

If you try your local library, you can likely download 5 songs per week (at least at mine), and you can keep them if you use the right program. The one I use is "Freegal", which might be available at your library. If you have more than one library card, you can download the limit for each card. It's amazing what they have available.

BassetHoundAnn

Omigosh, Miami Sound Machine and Gloria Estefan! "Get on Your Feet" One of the best songs ever. "Rhythm of Your Heart." "Words Get in the Way." "Bad Boy."

I bought a bunch of old compilation CDs for my mom. Put them on my phone and ipad. Play them on a Wonderboom wifi speaker. It helps so much to calm her down and make the visits go more smoothly.

GothicGremlin

Thank you, all of you!!

@SusanB-dil - good idea about Amazon. I get music there as well. And thanks for the titles. The only one I knew of was Conga.

@Iris L. - I only found one Motown label song in her vast collection - Smiling Faces Sometimes by The Undisputed Truth, so I'm guessing not. Funny, I really like Motown, and I have a number of albums in my own collection (and yeah, I like Smiling Faces Sometimes quite a lot). I thought she had a few Temptations albums....

@Ed1937 - I hadn't thought of the library - thanks for that tip.

@BassetHoundAnn - I'm with you - this is exactly why I'm taking the time to do this - to help calm Peggy. She's so volatile these days. None of us wants to over-medicate her.

GothicGremlin

P.S. Nothing about Peggy's Alzheimer's journey gives me joy. Even when I manage to problem solve something that ends up really helping her, it just feels like one more hurdle in a long line of hurdles that I've managed to overcome.

But this? Going through her music? Finding all of her favorite songs that she can still sing? This gives me real joy. And I know that it will give her joy, at least in the moment when she's singing one of her old favorites.

dancsfo

@GothicGremlin Does it need to be on a CD? If you can play music for her using a phone or a computer, you can try YouTube. You can connect to a speaker or headphones for better sound quality. You can also pay for YouTube Premium to reduce ads on videos or consider a subscription to YouTube Music (music only and access a wide catalog). There are other music services like Spotify. If there is no good internet service where Peggy lives, some services let you download first and play them later when disconnected from the internet service.

Examples:

You can find Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine on YouTube on the official channel

https://www.youtube.com/%40GloriaEstefanOficial/featured

and some come with videos in case she remembers seeing them on TV. There are similar channels like for the Motels and other performers (but I'm not sure if they are official channels, or just a fan's collection). For example:

https://www.youtube.com/%40themotels9808/about

GothicGremlin

Hey @dancsfo -

It's a great idea - thanks for that. I use youtube and spotify all the time to find new new goth/industrial bands. 🙂 I especially like when you choose something with spotify and then it IDs other bands who sound like the one you chose.

I could set up spotify for Peggy at memory care, but Peggy's friends aren't particularly technologically enabled. And even the memory care staff are mostly not great with this stuff. Her friend M, who is a godsend in just about every way, is the worst when it comes to technology. He won't even use a smart phone, he's just not comfortable.

So I go with the flow. He's comfortable with CDs and CD players, and I want him to be comfortable. I hadn't used any of that tech (moving vinyl to CD, and everything that goes with it) in probably a decade. I had to remember how to use it all!

But you know, maybe it's fine, maybe I'm overthinking. Maybe I can set up official channels and playlists that she and I can listen to while I'm physically there and then no one has to learn anything new.

BassetHoundAnn

In the playlists I set up of music to play when I visit my mom, I included some songs that I thought I might enjoy listening to and which I thought maybe my mom would also enjoy. For instance, she loves country music so I slipped in some Willie Nelson and Linda Ronstadt doing country. Total bomb. She recognizes the songs immediately as "not her music" and protests against listening to them. All she wants to listen to is Charley Pride. And the funny thing is I will play the same Charley Pride compilation CD for her over and over and over again and she will insist at each song that she has never heard that particular song before.

I love music of all types and I was hoping that by playing music during our visits maybe I could enjoy listening to music too. But that has not been the case. The only music my mom will listen to is the same selection of Charley Pride songs played over and over and over again. On a positive note it does calm her down.

GothicGremlin

Ha! @BassetHoundAnn I think Peggy would freak out if I included music I like. My favorite band these days is Dead Lights, and I love their newest, Receiver. I think it would go over poorly with Peggy, and with memory care in general. 😄I'll listen to my stuff on my own - it's safer that way.

I've been making '70s and '80s mix "tapes" (mix CDs in my case) and I'll just keep adding as time permits. I found some Linda Ronstadt in her collection (hard not to like her!) and tons of Ambrosia. Here I thought they only had one hit song! Nope, they had many. It really is kind of fun going through Peggy's albums and bringing them back to life for her. I can almost see how her '70s music evolved into her '80s music. Female vocalists are key.

So far, my mix tapes have been a hit. She's loving The Motels and Gloria Estefan. I find I'm enjoying them as well, so moving her vinyl to CD is kind of therapeutic in a way.

Marta

GG: I finally understand your screen name🦹🏻‍♀️

mommyandme (m&m)

ABBA might be fun. We listened to music throughout, such a wonderful way to find some joy.

SusanB-dil

If Miami Sound Machine is working - maybe also Bonnie Tyler (Total Eclipse of The Heart), Taylor Dayne, Paula Abdul, Cyndi Lauper (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Time After Time), Heart, Quarterflash (Harden My Heart)?

Haven't thought about some of these in a while - this is kind'a fun

Editing to add: you can go to any browser and key in "music similar to _____ " (fill in blank with what you are looking for, of course) and can get great suggestions that way, too.

GothicGremlin

@Marta - I'm laughing. But yeah, it's descriptive. 🙂

@mommyandme (m&m) - Yes to ABBA! Peggy has some ABBA in her collection, not a lot, but some. She also has at least one solo album by one of the women in ABBA. I've just made a note to add some in.

@SusanB-dil - The last album I did for Peggy was that Cyndi Lauper album. It has Time After Time, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, and She Bop. We just listened to it today. Peggy can still sing it. 🙂

Peggy has everything you listed except Taylor Dayne. And yeah, it was Quarterflash, Harden My Heart. She has a second album by them that doesn't have Harden My Heart. I had no idea!

GothicGremlin

This playlist provided me with a bright spot. I walked in to memory care to find Peggy and M sitting in her room singing together - Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins. It was just a nice moment. My heart was warmed (as they say in the song). Don't tell anyone though - I don't want to lose my goth card. 🙂

Here's the '80s "mix tape" playlist. Maybe it will provide a bright spot for some of you as well. Most of them are upbeat.

(Keep Feeling) Fascination by The Human League

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by the Eurythmics

Dance Hall Days by Wang Chung

Raspberry Beret by Prince

Crazy For You by Madonna

Need You Tonight by INXS

Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go by Soft Cell (trivia - these two songs are Motown)

Cars by Gary Numan

Destination Unknown by Missing Persons

Voices Carry by 'Til Tuesday

Hold Me Now by Thompson Twins

Jane's Getting Serious by Jon Astley

Don't You Forget About Me by Simple Minds

Things Can Only Get Better by Howard Jones

Freeze Frame by The J. Geils Band

SusanB-dil

Oh yeah! On a roll, GG... So glad sis responds to the music like she does.

Anything that's a 'plus' is welcome! and looks like you had fun with this.

(oh, ok, won't tell anybody... lol)

Emily 123

Hi GG--I saw that 'Ambrosia' in there--what about some 'Kool & The Gang' too? 'Get down on it', 'Celebration' or 'Let's go Dancing'?

Maybe some Commodores or Lionel Ritchie?

ABC

Culture Club

Flock of Seagulls

The Fixx

Talk Talk 'It's my Life'?

😀Love that stuff!

GothicGremlin

@SusanB-dil putting her music together so that she can enjoy it is 100 % positive. It's the only time that I can think of in this never ending nightmare where that is true. Music really helps. A lot.

@Emily 123 Yes to all of that! I found some Lionel Ritchie in her collection. I've got her covered on Kool & The Gang. We both have the same "Flock of Haircuts" albums. Just thinking about the video for I Ran makes me feel dizzy, even after all these years. 🙂

It's interesting too ... going through someone else's music collection can be a window into who they are. Most of Peggy's music is happy music. I can really see Peggy's optimism shining through, and how her musical tastes guided her as a musician (she sang in her own band for years).

So yeah, this is good. 100% good.