Practical Road Map

FAHNJL

DW diagnosed ALZ at 64. Still able to work part time. I know generally what needs to happen like POA, wills, etc. But I want to go about it correctly in the proper order. Do I meet with Elder Care Attorney? Do I file for SSID immediately? Do I meet with estate planner?

I welcome all personal experiences and links to additional sources. Thank you.

Joe C.

FAHNJL, Welcome but sorry you needed to seek out our community. A good Certified Elder Law Attorney should be able showed be able to handle all your estate planning needs so start there.

As for SSDI I would would suggest logging on to the Social Security site and setting up a log for your wife. Then you can look at what she is eligible for based on her work income history versus the disability benefit. At age 64 there may not be much of a difference. While your in the site she can assign you or someone else as her designee to make future changes to the account on her behave, you should do this step now.

M1

Hi FahnJL, welcome. You have come to a good place, though I am sorry you have need of it.

I think Joe's advice about checking out the SS website is a good one. I would ask in part what kind of work she is doing--and whether there is liability for her to get sued or fired. You probably need to think about any corporate retirement benefits she may be entitled to besides social security; if she is at risk of losing those if she is fired for cause, that may be a reason to take medical leave then retirement asap. The attorney should be able to help you with that.

A sad side note, just remember you will likely need to redo you own will/powers of attorney too, as she should not serve as your POA or executor.

You can learn a lot about what to expect here, and find good support. Wish you well.

Ed1937

Nothing much to add, but another vote for seeing a CELA soon. They will be able to show you the way while considering your personal circumstances. You have excellent replies above.

FAHNJL

Thanks everybody.

jfkoc

Attorney for DPOA etc.

Despondent

My husband and I saw an Elder Attorney within a few months of his diagnosis. Our problem is that he has two children from a previous marriage, who he is alienated from. I have no children. My sister who I was close to died suddenly four years ago. I miss not having someone to share my problems. My older sister and I have not had any communication for several years. When we sold our business, we moved out-of-state. It's difficult finding close friends when you are not working or involved in social groups. The result is no one to catch up the details. We both have Advanced Directives. We are each others Medical POA. I am his Durable POA. A mutual friend volunteered to be my POA, so we had the papers drawn up. She and I have drifted apart since that time. It's a difficult place to be when you have no one to do the "dirty work". Sometimes I think does it really matter at all?

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Lgb35

We are in the process of getting the legal paperwork in order. My DH asks me repeatedly “and why are we doing this”. It is difficult to explain to him why. He did not know he had an MCI diagnosis. He thought they still didn’t know what was wrong. I explained the concerns about his driving and the financial implications if anything were to happen now that he has a diagnosis documented. That was a hard reality for him. He is in sales and is paid on commission. His focus is on work and making as much money as he can so I am ok when he’s gone. The hard part is I feel like this time should be spent building relationships with our kids and grandkids and not work. My DH does not realize yet that he cannot be my POA or medical POA. I am having my son be that person. I also have to tell my son which will be a hard wake up for him.

this is a hard journey and reading posts my those further in I feel like each day is the best day left